School... Stress... Oh Look, a Wild Blog Post has Appeared!!!

Dude. It has been too long since I've posted.

Well guys, lemme see...

I failed my first test in college last month. AWESOME....not. I'll be honest. When nobody was around, I cried. Don't judge me, you would cry too if you'd just wasted $80 on a test that should've been stupid easy to pass.

And trust me, the questions were stupid easy. Like, 'who did this,' 'what does this mean,' those kinds of questions. They focused on stuff I didn't expect, which was probably my bad, but I mean, WHEN YOU THINK OF ART HISTORY YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO FOCUS ON THE FOUR BIG GUYS OF THE RENAISSANCE, NOT THE GUYS FROM THE BACKSIDE OF THE DESERT (ahem, I mean Northern Renaissance).

This is the part where we all face-table. You guys know what I'm talking about.

Okay. Rant over. I'm sorry I rant so much.

Anyways, I been working on some new courses, Astronomy and Western Civ. 1. Interesting stuff, man. Great thing about Astronomy, we've watched so many documentaries on it recently I already understand parts of it. And Western Civ, I know a lot of the information already THANK YOU JESUS!!!!

Also, thanks, Mom, for making us learn that stuff. And kids, pay attention in history class, you never know when that backhand knowledge might come in handy. :D

So how's school going for you guys?? Non-homeschooled seniors, are you excited that you're gonna be out of high school in a few months or what?

Speaking of which....

There's this other 'course' I've been working on for my college. It's called the CollegePlus Ambassador Program. My 'final exam' is basically to present CollegePlus as an option for people to get their bachelor's degree. I get extra points for people 13 and older who come and don't have a bachelor's degree.

It's also this Friday at 6pm. I know, right? Scary. My stomach does gymnastics every time I think about it.

If you live in the Glenview, IL area or around it, and you might be interested, comment on this post for more information. :)

Well guys, it's time for me to get back to studying. Love ya, and stay strong, weekend is coming!!!! And so is Spring Break!!! And so is Summer!!!..... in a few months.

God bless!!! :)

--Sonya :)

The Real Reason I Became an Author

So, I'm going through a college course called Human Growth and Development. One of the best things about this course is that I've already studied roughly half the material it covers in other courses, Intro to Psych, Intro to Educational Psych, Intro to Sociology, stuff like that.

Basically, I get to study how you've grown from a bunch a microscopic cells to the beautiful you that you are now. If you're going through puberty, man, I feel ya, that stuff is nuts, and now I know most of what exactly's happening to us.

Yes, people, it took this homeschooled kid a COLLEGE course to finally learn this stuff. Don't judge me!

Anyways, I got to this section in the book where it started to talk about 'play' and how it actually helps a kid grow cognitively and socially. And then it hit me.

All authors of fiction books are just little kids at heart, playing 'pretend,' daydreaming and letting their imaginations run wild.

It's like this:

Writing fiction is the opportunity for a non-child to become a child again. It's the world of imagination and 'let's pretend' that we all played when we were younger, but on paper. It's a chance to right (or, you know, write, haha) old wrongs and go back in time to change something. It's a chance to daydream and not be screamed at for it because you can actually make a living off it. It's the chance to do what you've always wanted to do, be an amazing athlete or daring explorer, an indie grunge rocker or that amazingly popular person you never were in high school, a fairy or a unicorn, your imagination's the limit. You can do whatever you want in a world of your own construction, and nobody can tell you otherwise (except maybe your editor and beta readers, in which case you should take at least some of their advice so that your story can explode into more amazingness than you ever could've thought possible).

It's why some people haven't gotten punched in the face. I just base a character off of them, brutally kill them in my books, or make them the bad guys in which I, AHEM I MEAN MY CHARACTERS IN MY BOOKS punch them in the face.

This is why they have that 'If there are any characters that seem to resemble any person you know it is purely coincidence' things in the books. Because of authors like me who take out their inner frustration at people they know on their characters. :)

Anyways....

Um...

Yeah. That's kinda it.

Hope you guys are having a fan-stinkin-tastic week, I love you all!!! And if you're having a really bad week then I hope you keep your chin up and keep smiling. You're important. You do matter. Bad grades come and go, people come and go, emotions come and go, but God's always here, and He's here to stay.

Love you guys again, and Happy Thanksgiving/Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!!!

Speaking of which that reminds me... NANOWRIMO IS OVER!!!! And I'm still in the middle of my book. I hit the 50,000. I'm going on +60,000.

Pray for me, guys. This book be gettin' super long haha.

God bless!!!!

--Sonya :)

It's November. You guys know what that means, right?

It means I should be writing and I'm not. Well, I'm writing this blog post, but that doesn't count. I hope you people feel very honored that I took time out of my hectic writing/college/Facebook life to write to you.

Just kidding, I'm not that important of a person, but I do have a thought.

You guys all know that I'm a kinda religious person. Well, let's say it like it is, I can be kind of a Jesus Freak and I'm not ashamed about it. It's not a religion to me, it's a relationship between myself and the Creator of all things.

Now, I'm just kind of guessing here, but some of you are probably Christians yourself. Or you're Jewish. Or Catholic. Or maybe you don't even believe in God.

To any atheists, I ain't judging you, I promise. I respect that you haven't had the same kind of experience with God that I have had, and this post isn't really even about God.

It's about you. You, reading this right now. Yeah. What kind of image do you have?

It's kind of interesting if you think about it. Who are your friends? Who are the people who look at you every day? Who do you think you are? What kind of person are you? What kind of character do you have?

What is your image?

Everybody's got one, whether they think so or not. When you're different, people watch you.
For me, they stare at my skirt, they stare at my long hair, they see something different in me than they do the rest of the world.

And then there's that scary moment of realization that you are someone else's role model, or that other people look to you.

And trust me, someone is looking at you right now, and the choices you make can change their life.

I've recently been feeling kind of frustrated about some stuff. Mainly about me being scolded for stuff, remembering how someone talked to me about something, but then when someone else does the same thing that I did and that same person who talked to me is just like, "Meh, whatever."

Feels pretty annoying, right? I'm not the only who's ever had that, right? I'm not the only one who wonders, 'why me and not them?' right? Why am I the one who gets busted/talked to about this and not them?

I said this wasn't really about God, but I'm homeschooled. I learn Bible verses as part of my schoolwork. There's a verse in the book of Proverbs that says, "My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord, neither be weary of his correction." And then the next verse says, "For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth, even as a father the son in whom he delighteth." (Prov. 3:11-12, KJV)

Okay, so for all of the normal people who don't have to decode King James as a part of their schoolwork, this is what it basically says: "Dude, don't get so bent outta shape when you get corrected or disciplined by God, because God disciplines and corrects the people He loves, just like a dad disciplines and corrects his kid."

Make any sense?

Some of us are held to a higher standard because, whether we know it or not, we're actually leaders. It's our generation, not our parents' generation, who're one day gonna be ruling the world, making the next biggest scientific breakthroughs, becoming the next great missionaries, being the next greatest explorers.

We're all dreamers. Even you crazy-amazing, down to earth, practical people, you're dreamers too.

We can envision things, and we have the motivation and the resources to actually make those things happen.

You're more powerful than you think. You can accomplish whatever you set out to do, if you don't give up.

That's why the people who're in authority over you are either extremely restrictive or constantly scolding you. Because they know, they see that you're gonna exceed them, and if they're dumb then they might try to stifle you, but if they're wise they'll try to shape you into something amazing.

Don't resist the chastening and correction of the Lord, 'cuz He's trying to shape you into who you were created to be. Don't resist your teachers and parents and the others, try to learn from what they're telling you.

Even if you don't use what they teach you, you've learned how to submit.

This post is getting pretty long, but one last thing: Submission doesn't mean getting walked all over and doing everything someone is telling you to do. It's not blind or grudging obedience.

When you submit something to someone/thing/place, you're asking them to consider something.

When you submit to a person in authority over you, you're showing them that you value their opinion and that you think that they have the power to change something, and you let them speak into your life. (If you think I'm wrong, I will meet you in the comments section haha)

Anyways. Like I said earlier: It's November. I gotta go write my story.

'Til next time, guys. :)

--Sonya

Ranting to the Internet and Anybody Else Who'd Care to Read

Have you ever just had a rough day, where things started out okay and then life and reality just kinda came crashing down on you? Or have you ever had a series of bad days like that? Where you're buried under school work, you've got a test next week that you're probably not prepared for but you HAVE to take it or else you're gonna get behind, you've got extra curricular activities and obligations that can't be gotten out of because people are relying on you, you're extra emotional and stressed and stuff, and all you wanna do is curl up under your blankets and go to Narnia or battle the Covenant with only a pistol and an energy sword, or throw them both away and just shoot everything with a rocket launcher?

And people just really don't get it. Or if they do, they're like, "Well, when I was your age..." And you're just standing there like, "Seriously? You only had like, 3 major body systems to worry about, I have like, 8. (-_-)"

OR WORSE. They're just like, "Suck it up and get your emotions under control."

Like, "Dude, you're kidding, right?" *cue internal meltdown*

To be fair, it's not good to let your emotions get the best of you, and yeah, you can control them. But telling people to lighten up is not exactly the best way to go. Sometimes it can work, snap some sense into them, but other times, when people say, "Just slow down, it'll all be fine," well, I just wanna scream at them, "I CAN'T, IF I DO I'LL BE EVEN MORE STRESSED." Make sense?

I can't make everybody happy. It's either me or them now. And from the looks of it, it's gonna have to be them. I can lose a few days of sleep, get re-addicted to caffeine and whatever. I just don't wanna let people down, 'cuz everybody knows that feeling's worse than anything else.

Sometimes it's all you can do to just keep smiling and pretending you're okay when you feel like everything else is just a mess, that you're a mess, that you can't do anything right, even, no, especially the stuff you're normally so good at. Like, wait 'til you get alone in the shower (if you have time, of course) or when you're alone at night trying to study your brains out and finally have a mental breakdown and cry out all the frustration because you're not remembering simple facts you learned two hours ago.

Of course you can't tell anybody about all this. You don't wanna be a burden, or have them blow it all outta proportion worse than you do. So you just suffer quietly, praying that maybe one day you'll see the light after so much darkness, that maybe, just maybe, the storm will be over soon.

You're thinking, "This isn't what I signed up for. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't how it was s'posed to go." But that doesn't change the reality of what it is. It doesn't change how lonely and scared and hopeless you feel. It's like you're walking on thin ice, and one wrong step will cause everything to shatter to pieces. You already feel the icy cold water seeping through the cracks of the ice and into your old, ripped up, falling-apart boots as you keep going. You're beyond that "I think I can" attitude, now you're just hoping that you'll reach the shore before you fall through, 'cuz underneath all that ice is a cold, dark abyss that'll swallow you up, that you'll drown in and nobody will ever know.

Just keep your head up, love. It'll get better soon. You might not be able to tell when, and it may be a long time before it gets better. But it will get better, eventually. If you need to vent, then hey, the comments below are free and I'll listen, 'cuz I know what you're going through. Keep pushing, keep breathing, you'll make it, you'll be stronger for it, keep giving yourself dumb pep talks and just fake it 'til you make it.

And don't forget one last thing: When the walls are closing in around you, sometimes the only thing you can do is pray. It takes no effort at all to say, "God, I need help," and even if He doesn't magically dump all the knowledge you need for that final into your head, He'll make it easier, and hey, He might even calm the storm inside of your head. He wants to, I know that.

Thanks for listening, guys. <3

--Sonya

Random Thought of the Day Involving Music and Jesus

Well, I waited for about 2 hours in the Doc's office 'cause of something weird that's been going on with my chest since Saturday (like, I was laughing, and then it was like there was some kind of huge weight on my chest and good GRIEF it hurt so I haven't been able to laugh, and it gets pretty bad when I cough, and it's just annoying gaaahhh), I've also got some kind of cold, so on top of pressure on chest I also feel like garbage, and I also have to do college work. Oh, and tonight we're supposed to go to my cousins' house, spend the night, and then tomorrow I got music lessons.

I need prayer, people.

But hey, on the bright side, I've gotten a bunch of NaNo planning done, they got free wifi, and I'm currently rocking out (in my mind) to TFK's newest album Oxygen Inhale.

So I just had a random thought the other day: Why do people like, LOVE and are OBSESSED with certain kinds of music and singers?

Well, it's actually pretty simple. When nobody else was there and they were falling apart, the only thing that kept them from giving it all up was music. It was that singer's lyrics, the way it just helped pick up the pieces and put them back together, made everything make sense. The only reason some people are still alive is because of music.

Okay, so you gotta be careful what kind of music you listen to. It's not all good, and what you pump into your head can destroy you just as much as being suicidal will. But I'm not talking about that stuff, I'm talking about the good stuff.

So why do we make fun of those people who have different tastes in music? You've never been in their shoes, you haven't walked the road they've walked, been through the things they've been through.

It's also kind of interesting if you apply that to everyone. Why are atheists making fun of Christians simply because they believe that there's a God? Why do people make fun of/discriminate against other people who aren't like them?

I'm actually not offended if people call me a Jesus freak. Dude, call me that all day, you don't know what He's brought me through, I hope that you think that I'm a Jesus freak. The only reason I'm still alive is because He brought me through some tough times. And yeah, He used music a lot to get through to me.

There's just something about music that brings you to another world. It's like you can either escape everything, or you can finally make sense of the mess inside of you. I heard a preacher describe music as being made in Heaven, not on Earth, and that's why it can do some crazy things like. Obvs, Satan twisted music to his own purposes and that's why we have some... shall we say, interesting singers and even more interesting music.

Anyways, just a thought. Music is God's and He can use it any way He likes, to reach people, to convict, to love, whatever.


Love you guys. God bless, have a wonderful weekend!!!!

--Sonya :)

Random Thoughts About Fall, Writing, and Life

Guys... IT'S FALL!!!!
How do I know? My toes are currently very cold. And I can wear a beanie hat without people looking at me strange. Oh yeah, and it's kinda, like, 50ish degrees out and it's September. I don't know, I kinda grew up in MN where snow happened in September, so I'm still waiting for that, muahaha.
All you poor, poor Chicago-area dwellers... I've been praying for cooler weather aaaaalllllll suummmeeerrr loooonnnggggg... just wait until winter gets here. (^_^)
Anywho, I've started my 'full-time online college student' career up again. So I guess I should change my blog to 'Day in the Life of an Online College Student who Still Takes One High School Class Because Choir is Fun!!!!!'
Or... nah. Haha.
Anyways, currently in college I'm taking Biology and Introduction to Psychology courses, and there's this funny thing.
I have a confession to make. *cringe*
See, I have this problem. The more I read about the brain, the things it's connected to, and the things it regulates in the body, the more I have to immediately pull up Google and ask, "What would it take to kill someone in *insert particular manner here*?"
My excuse: I'm a writer. My mother writes Christian Murder Mysteries.
But then there's the other questions that of course have to pop up since I'm a Christian: Is this habit of looking up ways to kill people unholy?
My excuse for this as well: I'm never gonna actually do it.
But Lord help us all if I ever snap because I know how to kill people with a triple A battery. O.o
Just kidding, I promise I won't snap. Jesus knows how much I can take, and He's very good at keeping me from snapping. :)
So how's school for everybody? Cool? Boring? Lame? Annoying? Hard? Hate it and can't wait 'til Summer Break already?
All us homeschooled kids got it easier, we just roll outta bed and do our work whenever we want (within reason, of course). You public-schoolers, I respect you for sticking it out and staying strong throughout your entire school careers. You guys are amazing.
Okay, enough about school, nobody likes school. Ish.
I've recently been creating the rough plot line and character profiles for my next NaNoWriMo project. It shall be EPIC!!!
I will be working on, like, that project, and the Clones Saga project, at the same time.
Pray that I have enough coffee and energy to survive, muahaha. The Holy Ghost shall be my strength!!!!!!

Okay, things are starting to get too random. So, I declare this post done. End. Fin.

Love you guys!!!! Have a great weekend!!!

--Sonya :)

Summer is almost over...O.O

I don't know about you guys, but my summer has been pretty full, between college work (so far I have earned like, 9 credits this summer term muahaha!!!!), Bible Quizzing, my church did VBS for the first time EVER (slightly stressful, but hey, what can ya do, and it was a success), talking to friends all the time (mainly through Facebook and texting, ya know the drill haha) and of course, writing whenever I have time to throw it in there.
Many of my friends have gone on trips all over the place, from visiting family to visiting friends to going to camps (and lemme just mention... church camp is where it's at, bro, haha) to dozens of other things. I recently went to IL's first ever Back to School State-wide Sheaves for Christ Rally, (and when I say recently I mean, it was last night haha, we didn't get home until almost 3am haha, that was one amazing service) and it was amazing. Bro. Michael Ensey, our general youth president, preached about how we need to 'Be Where You Are'. As school starts up, or has already started up, we need to be the light to our friends, to our schools, to our colleges, etc. He also talked about how one of David's mighty men, Benaiah, did some amazing things, fought and won some crazy battles that prepared him to go on to the next battle. He jumped into a pit with a lion in that pit on a snowy day, and he won. We have some battles that we've won or are fighting that are gonna prep us for the next battle, and we have some lions that we need to deal with, whether they're in ourselves or in our schools or in our homes.
Basically, we need to deal with the lion. Your victory in the battle you're facing now is going to prepare you for the next battle and the next victory.
So, don't give up. :)
To all you public-schooled guys who've already started school or are about to, I'm praying for you, and I know that God's got His angels watching over you. Be the Child of God that I know He's called you to be. You might be the only Jesus that some people ever see.
To all you homeschooled kids, whether you've started school, never stopped, or are about to, have an awesome year, and try not to drive your family too nuts with staying up late doing next week's homework so you can have 2 weeks off (if you haven't done this, congratulations, you can call yourself normal, because I have...)
And if there are any college students or about-to-be college students, have fun, don't get into trouble, study hard, and pass those exams so you can be done with the class!!!!!!
Actually, this advice I give to all of you. Be Jesus to everyone around you, study hard, don't get into trouble, don't ever give up, and just be your awesome, amazing selves. :)
God bless, and have a wonderful school year!!!

--Sonya :)