Random, Strung-Together Thoughts after a Failed Devo

I'm a very stream-of-consciousness kind of writer, kind of person. Sooo let's see how this goes.

That awkward moment when you have to do a devotion for your entire family, you had it all in your head, you go to do it, and those thoughts and scriptures that pierced ya to the heart at 2am two days ago all suddenly sound awkward and hollow and nonsensical and not connected AT ALL.

So, this is like, the second time in a row this kind of thing has happened. Here's some background: I was practicing to do a short mini-sermon for our youth group last Friday, and it was going good, I was feeling good about it, my dad gave me some pointers, and I felt sooo ready to tear it up that night...

And then I actually got up to give it and BAM everything I wanted to say basically packed up and left for the moon. The same thing basically happened again today when I was up for doing a family-devo (which we've just started doing since school started up again). I was ready, and BAM my notes made no sense and my mind forgot how to work.

Side note: I managed to get out basically what I wanted to say both times, but it did not go how I wanted it to go haha.

Also, I am surrounded by preachers. Literally, surrounded. My dad preaches, my mom preaches, my pastor and his wife preach and they live next door, my bro can throw down some awesome stuff (he tore up his day for family devo, btw), my sister knows how to put together a thought and say it clearly yet quietly, and the rest of 'em are just cute but can spit the Word like fire 'cause Bible Quizzing.

And then there's me. Ms. Stumbles-over-her-words. Ms. Has-a-thought-but-can't-speak-it-clearly-when-it's-time-to-give-it. Ms. Talks-in-circles. Ms. I-GOT-IT-haha-just-kidding. Ms. I'm-gonna-quote-a-verse-now-but-I'm-gonna-say-it-faster-than-any-rapper-'cause-I'm-a-Bible-Quizzer-and-didja-get-all-that? (-_-)

I feel called to preach. So why am I such a lousy preacher? Why am I such a lousy devo-giver? I'm surrounded by these amazing people, who have way better qualifications than I do, so why do I feel like God is calling me?

"Not by might, nor by power, but by MY Spirit, saith the Lord of hosts." (Zech. 4:6).

Oh, yeah. Because it's not my abilities, my strengths, my weaknesses, my experiences, or anything like that that 'qualifies' me. It's not so people can look at me and say, "Dude, she's a good preacher," or, "Dude, she is something else." It's not about me. It's about God. It's about letting God do His thing, and if He wants to use me, I gotta be willing.

So, here's to the kid who feels the call to preach, but everything they meant to say packs up and flies to Mars when they're handed the mic. Here's to the kid who feels the call to the missions field, but you're too shy to talk to your friends about God. Here's to the kid who wants to do something for God, but they're unsure where to start, or they feel held back.

Here's to the kids like me.

We're all in the same boat. Or at least, in the same fleet of boats, somewhere. We've all got questions. Doubts. Frustrations. But sometimes, God calls normal people like us to step outta the boat. Yeah, it takes a leap of faith, and yeah, there might be a storm going on around us. But dude. You can walk on water if He calls you out. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and you won't sink.

Jesus called ordinary people to do extraordinary things, so that others could look at them and say, "The Lord is with them, He is doing these crazy things." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's basically what they said, you know?

So you're called to preach. You're not gonna be an amazing preacher all at once. Just keep trying, keep praying, and keep speaking as the Lord leads ya.

So you're called to missions. Take the first step and talk to one of your friends who's hurting about the One who died for them. Start teaching a Bible Study.

So you want to do something for God and His Church? Be faithful. Be helpful. Serve people. Figure out your social skills. Love people. Pray. Ask. If you feel held back, trust your leaders, because they really do see a bigger picture than you do. Be a Christian, develop who you are, and for the love of all things holy, pray and get in tune with God. He always puts ya where you need to be.

And for everyone else who don't feel like they don't fit into any of those categories: Just keep praying and getting closer to God. If you're one of those people who doesn't feel called to preach, be a missionary overseas, or feel held back or unsure what to do, then God bless you and just keep praying, supporting your leaders, and being a good Christian. If all you're doing is cooking a meal, hosting a Bible Study, raising your kids in church, tryna be a light where you're at, staying unified with your pastor and leadership, whatever, then man, you don't know how much of a blessing you are. If all you do is wash dishes or help clean the bathrooms, or both, then dude, you are a rock star in God's eyes (and probably your pastor's and his wife's eyes too, because if nobody else does it, then they're the ones who do it).

And when things do get frustrating, you fail, you go up to speak and your mouth forgets how to form words and your mind forgets how to think in complete sentences, you get nervous about sharing the Gospel with your friends, or whatever, just remember: Not by your might, not by your power, but by the LORD'S Spirit, says God. You can conquer the world if you have Jesus on your side.

Love you guys. And happy Friday! :D Have a great weekend! God bless!

--Sonya :) <3

Let's Keep It

So, lots of things have happened. Like, went to Illinois Senior High Camp last week, drove there and back by myself with my brother and sister. Oh yeah, and Sunday we had an incredibly awesome outreach at our church. We'll see how successful it actually was this coming Sunday, but we're all believing that God's gonna do something great in our communities.

To try to adequately describe what's happened to me in the last week would probably take way too long, so I'll try to summarize.

Here's one good summary: I didn't kill anyone when I got home from camp after maybe getting 5 hours of sleep a night, with the annoying routine of waking up once or twice every night 'cause let's face it, camp beds versus our normal beds, our beds usually win. I was exhausted, and I'm still working on recovering haha.

But dude. The power of God touched down at that campground like you would not believe. And it wasn't just an emotional experience either, although there were lots of tears shed and emotions being let out. Something happened at camp that kind of changed the way we think, or at least it changed how I think. And one prayer that keeps popping up in my head is, "God, please help us not to lose what we got at camp."

Yeah, camp's super fun. It's a time to chill out and go nuts, make new friends, get some people's numbers, get sunburnt and tanned, stay up late and laugh 'til your entire body hurts, pray and get in touch with God and get renewed and refreshed in His Spirit, recommit and get confirmation, all that awesome stuff. But it can't end there. You shouldn't just praise God like crazy at camp. You shouldn't just live for God at camp. You shouldn't just allow Him to move and work you over at camp. You gotta take that home with you. He's the same yesterday, today and forever. Jesus is the same at your home church as He is at camp and convention and congress. And once you realize that and tap into that, you'll literally change the entire atmosphere around you. It'll spread to your church, to your family, to your friends, to your neighborhood, to your youth group, to wherever else you go.

This isn't just a one-week deal God wants with us. He wants an every single day thing. It's our job to live for Him, get in tune with Him, literally bind our wills to His in prayer and get closer to God because, guys, this world's a mess. There are a whole ton of broken people who have lost hope in anything and they're chasing something that'll fill that void inside, and man, you might be their only hope. We gotta open our mouths, quit being an 'in the closet Christian', and actually live out that camp commitment we made with God.

Yeah, we'll all stumble at some point. This road ain't easy. It ain't gonna be a bunch of sunshine and lollipops, but bro, when you see your neighbor or your best friend or your favorite teacher or your uncle or whoever else you been praying for step through that church building's doors, or even the Pearly Gates of Heaven, it'll make all of the things we had to endure worth it. You mess up? Repent, get back up, and keep walking the way you know you're s'posed to walk. You get messed up by someone you tryna witness to? Turn the other cheek, forgive, and keep walking. Keep praying, keep looking for someone to give hope to.

Just a sidenote: It's not your fault if they reject Jesus. If you really tried your best and did what God told you to do, then at the end of the day, it's their decision. If all you could do is plant a small seed, then just stand back and let God do the rest. He works on them, He makes the seed grow, He gives the increase, so it's not all on you. Do your best to say the truth in love, to love and pray for them 'til the day you die, and let God do the rest, friend.

Let's keep what we got at camp. Let's keep what we got at that convention. Let's keep what we got at that youth rally. And let's keep building this momentum until we see it turn into an unstoppable tsunami wave in the spirit.

I love you guys. Continue having a great, fantastic, and hopefully restful summer. :) <3

--Sonya :) <3