Random, Strung-Together Thoughts after a Failed Devo

I'm a very stream-of-consciousness kind of writer, kind of person. Sooo let's see how this goes.

That awkward moment when you have to do a devotion for your entire family, you had it all in your head, you go to do it, and those thoughts and scriptures that pierced ya to the heart at 2am two days ago all suddenly sound awkward and hollow and nonsensical and not connected AT ALL.

So, this is like, the second time in a row this kind of thing has happened. Here's some background: I was practicing to do a short mini-sermon for our youth group last Friday, and it was going good, I was feeling good about it, my dad gave me some pointers, and I felt sooo ready to tear it up that night...

And then I actually got up to give it and BAM everything I wanted to say basically packed up and left for the moon. The same thing basically happened again today when I was up for doing a family-devo (which we've just started doing since school started up again). I was ready, and BAM my notes made no sense and my mind forgot how to work.

Side note: I managed to get out basically what I wanted to say both times, but it did not go how I wanted it to go haha.

Also, I am surrounded by preachers. Literally, surrounded. My dad preaches, my mom preaches, my pastor and his wife preach and they live next door, my bro can throw down some awesome stuff (he tore up his day for family devo, btw), my sister knows how to put together a thought and say it clearly yet quietly, and the rest of 'em are just cute but can spit the Word like fire 'cause Bible Quizzing.

And then there's me. Ms. Stumbles-over-her-words. Ms. Has-a-thought-but-can't-speak-it-clearly-when-it's-time-to-give-it. Ms. Talks-in-circles. Ms. I-GOT-IT-haha-just-kidding. Ms. I'm-gonna-quote-a-verse-now-but-I'm-gonna-say-it-faster-than-any-rapper-'cause-I'm-a-Bible-Quizzer-and-didja-get-all-that? (-_-)

I feel called to preach. So why am I such a lousy preacher? Why am I such a lousy devo-giver? I'm surrounded by these amazing people, who have way better qualifications than I do, so why do I feel like God is calling me?

"Not by might, nor by power, but by MY Spirit, saith the Lord of hosts." (Zech. 4:6).

Oh, yeah. Because it's not my abilities, my strengths, my weaknesses, my experiences, or anything like that that 'qualifies' me. It's not so people can look at me and say, "Dude, she's a good preacher," or, "Dude, she is something else." It's not about me. It's about God. It's about letting God do His thing, and if He wants to use me, I gotta be willing.

So, here's to the kid who feels the call to preach, but everything they meant to say packs up and flies to Mars when they're handed the mic. Here's to the kid who feels the call to the missions field, but you're too shy to talk to your friends about God. Here's to the kid who wants to do something for God, but they're unsure where to start, or they feel held back.

Here's to the kids like me.

We're all in the same boat. Or at least, in the same fleet of boats, somewhere. We've all got questions. Doubts. Frustrations. But sometimes, God calls normal people like us to step outta the boat. Yeah, it takes a leap of faith, and yeah, there might be a storm going on around us. But dude. You can walk on water if He calls you out. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, and you won't sink.

Jesus called ordinary people to do extraordinary things, so that others could look at them and say, "The Lord is with them, He is doing these crazy things." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's basically what they said, you know?

So you're called to preach. You're not gonna be an amazing preacher all at once. Just keep trying, keep praying, and keep speaking as the Lord leads ya.

So you're called to missions. Take the first step and talk to one of your friends who's hurting about the One who died for them. Start teaching a Bible Study.

So you want to do something for God and His Church? Be faithful. Be helpful. Serve people. Figure out your social skills. Love people. Pray. Ask. If you feel held back, trust your leaders, because they really do see a bigger picture than you do. Be a Christian, develop who you are, and for the love of all things holy, pray and get in tune with God. He always puts ya where you need to be.

And for everyone else who don't feel like they don't fit into any of those categories: Just keep praying and getting closer to God. If you're one of those people who doesn't feel called to preach, be a missionary overseas, or feel held back or unsure what to do, then God bless you and just keep praying, supporting your leaders, and being a good Christian. If all you're doing is cooking a meal, hosting a Bible Study, raising your kids in church, tryna be a light where you're at, staying unified with your pastor and leadership, whatever, then man, you don't know how much of a blessing you are. If all you do is wash dishes or help clean the bathrooms, or both, then dude, you are a rock star in God's eyes (and probably your pastor's and his wife's eyes too, because if nobody else does it, then they're the ones who do it).

And when things do get frustrating, you fail, you go up to speak and your mouth forgets how to form words and your mind forgets how to think in complete sentences, you get nervous about sharing the Gospel with your friends, or whatever, just remember: Not by your might, not by your power, but by the LORD'S Spirit, says God. You can conquer the world if you have Jesus on your side.

Love you guys. And happy Friday! :D Have a great weekend! God bless!

--Sonya :) <3

Get Over It (A Positive Spin)

So, the other night I was feeling kinda, you know, meh. A little bit on the not so great side of meh, really. And when that kind of thing happens, I'll either try to distract myself from it, which of course works so well until later, or I pray and read my Bible.

Okay, maybe it was a little bit more than just a little bit on the not so great side of meh.

I was kinda down. So, this time, I decided to pray and read my Bible. Well, I was praying, and not getting very much into it. Like, it was basically, "God, I feel messed up. I shouldn't really feel messed up, there are so many other people in the world who feel messed up that actually are, and here I am just being selfish and praying for myself, also there's my test and I'm just feeling so stressed out about it and I'm also supposed to be a leader and a role model and there're these people who're stressing me out and driving me insane and is it me or them and what can I do to help or should I just get outta the way am, I doing something wrong, please just HAAAALLLPPP" that kind of thing.

And I didn't really feel like I was getting anywhere. When I focus too much on myself, that tends to happen, and I end up feeling worse until I finally shut up and let God do some talking. So, I shut my mouth and opened up my Bible, and I saw the word 'Tiphsah'. The passage had something to do with Solomon and fighting and having peace from Tiphsah to some other place.

So, what does Tiphsah mean, anyways? I'm so glad you asked. I looked up the meaning 'cause, why not, and also, I like to understand what I'm reading and Hebrew names tend to have a specific meaning.

Tiphsah, according to Easton's Bible Dictionary via biblestudytools.com, means "passing over" or "ford," and the thought that hit me when I read that was, "God, are you really telling me to get over it?"

BTW, just so you know, I did pass that test I was freaking out about. So, hey, haha, God is good. :)

Anyways. Now, here's the funny thing about a 'ford.' It's literally a shallow place to cross over a river or stream.

You literally 'get over it'.

So, when someone tells you to get over it, we take it as a sarcastic comment. They don't get the pain we're going through. There is so much pressure around us, and they're just treating it like it's nothing and that we're being immature.

Truth is, we do need to get over it. The pain someone caused you? The pressure that's all around you? The depression you're going through? The loneliness and heartache? Think of all of those things that you need to get over. Now, think of them like a river that you have to cross. Or, better yet, a sea.

Sidenote: Did you know there are land bridges from Alaska to Russia? There used to be, anyway. Anyways.

The water's rushing over that path that you gotta take to get to the other side. It's slippery. It's wet. You might fall. Just sitting on your side of the river seems like the best choice, even though you know that, on the other side of the river, there's something so much greater for you.

The Children of Israel had to cross the Red Sea to be free from the Egyptians. There wasn't a way, but God made a way, and they took it. They also had to cross the Jordan River to get to the Promised Land, and God made a way, and they took that land.

There's a promise on the other side of your river. There's freedom on the other side of that sea. Are you willing to cross it? Are you willing to get over it?

'Cause, man, once you do, it's gonna be pretty stinkin' awesome. Oh, the battles you'll fight, the giants you'll slay, the promises you'll claim. All it takes is trusting in God, as you take one step, and then another, and then another, until you've finally made it to the other side.

So, my friend. Take this well-meaning, tryna-help piece of advice: Get over it. I believe in you. If there's one person who can do it, it's you. Cross that river. Cross that sea. What's waiting for you on the other side is better than anything you could dream of. And when there doesn't seem to be a way through that river or ocean, God will make a way. Trust me, He will make a way, just for you. :)

Love you guys. God bless! :)

--Sonya :) <3