Apologies are nice. When someone says they're sorry and they mean it, it's just nice to hear it, to be honest. They're acknowledging that they did something against you, and they're taking a step towards making it right.
But how many people out there can tell me that a simple "I'm sorry" sometimes isn't enough?
Let's go with an extreme example.
You completely, utterly, totally snap. The person who's been driving you crazy for the past who knows how long, you finally let them have it. And when you're done, they act like a kicked puppy, head down, shoulders hunched, and they mumble the words, "I'm sorry."
That feels great. That should be the end of it. You freaked out at them (and they totally deserved it), they said they're sorry, end of story, so now it's happily ever after, ne?
And then the next time they see you, they're still doing that thing that literally annoys the Spirit of God out of you.
The truth is, whatever happened, whether it was your parents hurting you, a friend being a total jerkface, a person who just will not stop being annoying and butting into your business, that idiot who just has to make everything into an argument or won't quit pushing their own viewpoint in every conversation, whatever it is, you don't want an apology from them. Okay, yes you do. You want them to say that they're sorry, you want to hear those words that basically say, "I did you wrong and I won't do it again."
See those five words I added to the end of that sentence?
It doesn't matter if they apologize or not, really. What matters is whether they actually change their behavior. I don't want an apology, I want your behavior to change.
I'm slowly getting to the point where I don't necessarily care if someone apologizes to me. If they get the words out and ask for forgiveness, then hey, it means they're at least willing to try to make it right, so that's a nice thing. But I'd rather they just change than say they're sorry.
When I apologize, I'm admitting I'm wrong, that I did something that I shouldn't have, and that I want to make it right. I try harder to not do it the next time the temptation comes, whether it's to mouth off or flip out or just do something stupid. Sometimes, I fail. Just ask my brothers and sisters. My parents'll also back that statement up.
But sometimes I succeed. I think it's about breaking an old habit by replacing it with a new habit. And I learned that, if you actually let Him, God'll help you if you ask.
So quit walking around, waiting for an apology, because that's not really what you want. You want that behavior to change. And also, quit walking around constantly saying you're sorry and accepting the fact that you're just a fail at life. Throw that garbage in the dumpster and start trying harder. Pray more, keep your mouth shut, recognize the situations that trigger the behavior and either run or make up in your mind beforehand that you won't participate. You overthink things already, so start coming up with scenarios in your head and what you'll do when you're faced with those things that make you want to flip out.
You can't control other people, but you can control how you react to them. And who knows? The way you act might subtly influence how they act. You change, they just might change. It's not such a long shot, actually, and hey, at the end of the day, at least you're clean.
I hope you guys have a good rest of your week. BTW, summer's soon, you lucky ducks, have fun graduating, or just getting out on summer break and stuff. :)
Love you guys. God bless. Peace out. :)
--Sonya :) <3
P.S. What'cha think of the new look? :D
P.S.2 I'm sorry if I came off as super harsh in this post. If you feel like I'm being preachy, well, I probably was, I wasn't really preaching at you though, I was preaching at myself. And to you too, I suppose, but not in a condemning way, at least that's not my intention. I wanna build you up, not tear you down. I love you. Even if I don't know you, you're a human, you got a soul, and if you've read this far down it means you're at least vaguely interested in what I have to say, I think. :) God bless you. <3
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Be the Person You Needed When You Were Younger --Anonymous
"Be the person you needed when you were younger."
I can't tell you when I first saw those words in a picture while I was scrolling through Facebook one day. But I can tell you how they changed my life.
When I was younger, I was an idiot, and to be honest, I still kind of am, I'm just a little bit wiser. I was easily influenced, but I could also run on my own two feet. I loved life. Time was slow-moving, except when I was having fun with my friends. Life was an open possibility, I could be anything from an archeologist to a doctor to a racecar driver to an astronaut to a Power Ranger to a superhero to a cat.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to be a cat when I was younger. And I have actually partially accomplished this, in habit only of course. Sleeping, being nocturnal, only allowing people to touch me when I want them to, curling up on a couch, man, the only things I don't do that are cat-like are potty in a litter box, bring home 'treats' for my homeowners, and use my tongue as a shower.
I'm just kidding. I have been compared to a cat before, though, but those are stories for another day.
Anyways. The edge of the universe was the limit for me back then, and it was amazing.
Then, we moved, and I quickly learned what it's like to be on 'the outside' of a teenaged peer-group with no hopes of getting into the 'in-group'. Loneliness, heartbreak (not just the romantic kind, I mean full-on my heart broke because life hurt and people hurt and breaking down was the only thing I could do 'cause dying is never an option), be it hormones or circumstances, all of that hit me like a bullet train.
So when I first read the words, "Be the person you needed when you were younger," it made me think about all of the mistakes I've made. All the things that I feel like I could've avoided if I'd had someone experienced that I looked up to to help me. I was so immature, and I was so bad at listening, though, I'm not sure if I would've listened if an older me had been there to help me.
I do know that, had those things not happened, I wouldn't be who or where I am today. So now I feel like I need to be that person I needed when I was younger. I wished someone would've told me that I'd get through some of the messes that I did. I wished someone would've been there to shine a light to me when all I felt was darkness around me. I wished someone would've prayed with me and over me when I needed it, offered words of encouragement or something.
There were a few who did those things, but people are human, and they can't be there all the time. I understand that. But it didn't stop the wishing.
So now, I try to do those things. I try to tell people that they'll get through those situations that feel so hopeless. I try to shine a light to people who feel like they're lost and stumbling around in darkness. I pray things over people that I wish someone would've prayed over me. I try to be encouraging when someone needs it and I can see that they need it.
I can't be a people-pleaser. But I don't think that's what Paul was saying when he said, "I am become all things to all people." I think he meant that he got down on other people's level so he could reach them. He wasn't high and mighty, he wasn't oh-so-great and, "Oh you need help so I, the great Paul, will help you and bring myself down because you're so much lower." Yeah, no. He had something so precious, so amazing, and he was willing to do anything to pass it on to other people who didn't have it. If it meant becoming poor, weak, whatever, if he could shine a light and bring people to Christ, then he did it. He served people like Jesus served people.
I am not the Apostle Paul, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just me. But I want to be that person I needed when I was younger. I want to be that person that gave someone the hope to keep hanging on. I can't do that by myself, but I know God can do that through me. And He can do it through you too.
You're a lot stronger than you were at 13. You're a whole lot stronger this year than you were last year. You can find the strength to keep going, and you can find the strength to keep reaching out to other people too. God's strength is found perfect in your weakness, so when you feel weak, don't rely on your own strength. Rely on God's. You can be the person you needed when you were younger. We may be our own worst critics, but we can also encourage ourselves in the Holy Ghost, like David did. We can be that person that someone else needs right now. Don't be afraid to believe in yourself, to try something new, to go out on a limb and step out on faith. Who knows? It may be the breaking point for someone. It may be what catapults you into your destiny, and it may be what launches someone into their victory.
You never know 'til you try. :)
Stay strong, guys. God bless you and help you, in Jesus name. And if you need someone, I'm here.
Love you guys. :)
--Sonya :) <3
I can't tell you when I first saw those words in a picture while I was scrolling through Facebook one day. But I can tell you how they changed my life.
When I was younger, I was an idiot, and to be honest, I still kind of am, I'm just a little bit wiser. I was easily influenced, but I could also run on my own two feet. I loved life. Time was slow-moving, except when I was having fun with my friends. Life was an open possibility, I could be anything from an archeologist to a doctor to a racecar driver to an astronaut to a Power Ranger to a superhero to a cat.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to be a cat when I was younger. And I have actually partially accomplished this, in habit only of course. Sleeping, being nocturnal, only allowing people to touch me when I want them to, curling up on a couch, man, the only things I don't do that are cat-like are potty in a litter box, bring home 'treats' for my homeowners, and use my tongue as a shower.
I'm just kidding. I have been compared to a cat before, though, but those are stories for another day.
Anyways. The edge of the universe was the limit for me back then, and it was amazing.
Then, we moved, and I quickly learned what it's like to be on 'the outside' of a teenaged peer-group with no hopes of getting into the 'in-group'. Loneliness, heartbreak (not just the romantic kind, I mean full-on my heart broke because life hurt and people hurt and breaking down was the only thing I could do 'cause dying is never an option), be it hormones or circumstances, all of that hit me like a bullet train.
So when I first read the words, "Be the person you needed when you were younger," it made me think about all of the mistakes I've made. All the things that I feel like I could've avoided if I'd had someone experienced that I looked up to to help me. I was so immature, and I was so bad at listening, though, I'm not sure if I would've listened if an older me had been there to help me.
I do know that, had those things not happened, I wouldn't be who or where I am today. So now I feel like I need to be that person I needed when I was younger. I wished someone would've told me that I'd get through some of the messes that I did. I wished someone would've been there to shine a light to me when all I felt was darkness around me. I wished someone would've prayed with me and over me when I needed it, offered words of encouragement or something.
There were a few who did those things, but people are human, and they can't be there all the time. I understand that. But it didn't stop the wishing.
So now, I try to do those things. I try to tell people that they'll get through those situations that feel so hopeless. I try to shine a light to people who feel like they're lost and stumbling around in darkness. I pray things over people that I wish someone would've prayed over me. I try to be encouraging when someone needs it and I can see that they need it.
I can't be a people-pleaser. But I don't think that's what Paul was saying when he said, "I am become all things to all people." I think he meant that he got down on other people's level so he could reach them. He wasn't high and mighty, he wasn't oh-so-great and, "Oh you need help so I, the great Paul, will help you and bring myself down because you're so much lower." Yeah, no. He had something so precious, so amazing, and he was willing to do anything to pass it on to other people who didn't have it. If it meant becoming poor, weak, whatever, if he could shine a light and bring people to Christ, then he did it. He served people like Jesus served people.
I am not the Apostle Paul, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just me. But I want to be that person I needed when I was younger. I want to be that person that gave someone the hope to keep hanging on. I can't do that by myself, but I know God can do that through me. And He can do it through you too.
You're a lot stronger than you were at 13. You're a whole lot stronger this year than you were last year. You can find the strength to keep going, and you can find the strength to keep reaching out to other people too. God's strength is found perfect in your weakness, so when you feel weak, don't rely on your own strength. Rely on God's. You can be the person you needed when you were younger. We may be our own worst critics, but we can also encourage ourselves in the Holy Ghost, like David did. We can be that person that someone else needs right now. Don't be afraid to believe in yourself, to try something new, to go out on a limb and step out on faith. Who knows? It may be the breaking point for someone. It may be what catapults you into your destiny, and it may be what launches someone into their victory.
You never know 'til you try. :)
Stay strong, guys. God bless you and help you, in Jesus name. And if you need someone, I'm here.
Love you guys. :)
--Sonya :) <3
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
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