Valentine's Day, a.k.a. SAD, and All the Cliche Stuff

Valentine's Day was, weeelll, yesterday. It's also known as Single Awareness Day, 'cause when you single, you may feel *slightly* left out of all the festivities because you do not have a sweetheart to do the cliche Valentine-y things with.

And doing them by yourself is lame. I mean yeah, sometimes it's good to just treat yo-self, to be alone and show the world you're happy as a single pringle, but let's be honest, half of you guys who do that are just tryna covertly say, "HEY I'M SINGLE SOMEONE CHANGE THAT" without looking like a needy fool. 😅

Why am I saying that? Uh, 'cause I resisted the urge to post cliche "Single and happy about it", "Pros to being single on V-Day: Saving money I'd otherwise have to spend on a Valentine present" etc. pics to IG and SC all day. All day. Because if I'm honest, it'd be nice to have found 'the one' by now and to be doing life with this human.

But on the other hand, boy am I glad I'm not dating anybody or preparing for marriage to anybody in particular. Like, dude, I still gotta learn how to schedule my own doctor's appointment and talk to my own health insurance company, I can't handle that kind of responsibility right now. 😂

What's the point of this post? I had a point. I know I did. Oh yeah, Valentine's Day!

So if you're dating or married, congrats, I'm happy you got somebody for ya. I pray they treat you well and that you treat them well. Be excellent to each other, aight? Or else I'll hunt you down, slap you in your stupid face, beat you with a hardcover, annotated KJV Bible and throw glitter-filled water balloons at you that have verses written on them about how we're supposed to treat each other.

All in love, of course. I'd do this to my brother. Because I love him. 'Cause everything you do should flow out of love. Yup. I mean, it's either glitter or I kill you and repent later, which would you prefer? 😃

Ahem, anyways, aaaand if you're single like me... Use this time to focus on figuring out who you are. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do with your life? How do you do that thing you wanna do? How do you get to that place? What habits do you need to form that'll help you be a better, healthier person that accomplishes those awesome goals and dreams you have? How do you form those habits?

Cliche, I know. But Valentine's Day is all about the cliche. As is Single Awareness Day. Whether you're in a committed relationship or not, be a decent human. Love people the way Jesus does. Look at yourself the way Jesus looks at you. Go after Jesus with everything that's in you, and change the world.

Love you guys. Happy Valentine's Day, Happy S.A.D., (both a week late), and keep being awesome. 😜


Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

An Open Future

I feel like the name of this blog is perfect for me because sometimes I just go for weeks and months on end without posting and then I come back like HEY SO GUYS like no time's passed at all. 😅😂

But anyways. Guys. I got my diploma in the mail, like, a month ago come Saturday. Let's just say it softened the blow of not being accepted to grad school. Can't go to grad school this semester but hey, at least I can now prove that I finished my BA last semester, right?

And I'll have you know, I only cried like five times in the 7 or so hours after I found out about not being accepted. 😅😭😳😶

This made me reevaluate basically my whole life. "What now?" I asked myself. I have a mini fridge in the living room, a microwave, and a cool Ninja blender (that I have been using the entire time during this year's 21 Day Challenge a.k.a. Daniel Fast 2.0, btw). I have some money saved up in the bank, my own debit card, a cool smartphone, and a bunch of big dreams. What am I supposed to do now?

See, I had the whole next 4-5 months planned out. Go to grad school. Take classes. Hang with my best friends. Stay up way too late doing assignments and studying, drinking coffee and laughing with awesome people. Cry my eyes out during chapel services, pray like I never had before with people in my age group. All that's basically out the window for now. I have at least 6 months to do... what?

So, I basically sat down with my questions and tried to figure out what I want to do with my life. What do I want to do career-wise? There are a few things, but one thing I think would be pretty stinkin' fantastic is this: Write. I want to write. I wanna write fiction. I want to "live by my pen" as Anne Hathaway said in her role as Jane Austen in the movie "Becoming Jane." How do I do that? Well, first off, I gotta write. I gotta edit the mess out of my work. I gotta make it publishable. Next step, publish the work. Market the work. Get paid for the work. Aaaaaand repeat until I can either live off of writing or live off it and some kind of other part-time or full-time job.

Sidenote: I love my job, absolutely love it. I'm learning all these crazy things about the world of printing and web design and all this stuff, I feel like a starry-eyed kid at Disney World half the time (the other half I'm working trying to make sure I'm doing my job right and as well as possible). I just have like, fifty different ideas of how my life could go and I'm tryna get 'em all out before they make my head explode. 😜

What else do I wanna do? I wanna travel. I wanna go on missions trips, see what it's like to be a missionary, help out missionaries, do missionary work.

So what have I done about this stuff? Well for one, I've looked into some mission trips. There are too many deadlines at the beginning of the year so unless someone walks up to me and says, "Hey, I want you to come with me to this foreign country this year," then I probably won't go overseas just quite yet. I've also looked into going overseas to teach ESL. Got some pointers from my uncle, who went overseas and taught English in Korea, and there are some pretty cool opportunities that I'm looking into a little bit more. I'd need a TESL or TEFL certification and a few other prereq's that would take a little time to get done, but lucky for me, that fits my schedule for the next two years haha. Oh, and as for writing, I've made it a goal to write and publish 5 books this year on various platforms, i.e. Wattpad, Amazon, possibly Inkitt, etc.

I might still go to grad school. Or I might just go to the undergrad area to get a certificate in Apostolic Studies so I can articulate my faith in a knowledgeable way and get some experience living on my own for a bit. Or I might just skip all that, work hard, get my TESL/TEFL and move to Eastern Asia for the rest of my life! (JK, I'd miss my American people too much... I'll just pack 'em all in suitcases and take 'em with me, muahaha)

The point of this post? It's an open future for me. I've got a direction I want to go in. And I know there's a direction God wants me to go in. The trick is making sure the two are one in the same. Do I think writing can change the world? Yes, yes I do. Do I think teaching can change the world? Tried and proven, both in the secular and the church worlds, teaching can completely change the world, because it changes young people who will go on to change the world. Do I think this is something I should pursue? Short answer: Yes. Time (and a whole lotta prayer) will tell if this is the direction God wants me to go in.

'Til next time, folks!

--Sonya 😁 💖

P.S. I'mma try to get better at writing this blog, or at least posting something on this blog. Bear with me, guys. 😜

Fire. Coal. Diamonds. Info Dump. Teehee.

This is gonna be my inspiration for tomorrow night, and I need to get the fifty billion thoughts in my head about it out in, well, words, so bear with me guys. 😅

People have been talking a lot about fire recently. They've also been talking about a process, transformation, that kind of thing.

So here's this thing that goes through the fire, goes through a process, and undergoes this crazy transformation. You can make a diamond out of a piece of coal because they're both carbon compounds. The difference between a diamond and coal is that, while they're both carbon compounds, they're organized completely differently. A piece of coal gets put into a highly pressurized, incredibly heated environment. After a while in that heat, under all that pressure, it gets taken out and suddenly, it's no longer coal but a diamond. It still has to go through some cutting and polishing and stuff, so the process ain't over yet, but when it's done, it's this beautiful, valuable thing. And get this: when you shine a light through a diamond, you see different aspects of the light. A piece of coal gets a light shined on it and it's just a piece of coal. A diamond reflects and refracts light so you get that awesome rainbow effect that shows you all the different colors of the light spectrum.

We are like pieces of coal separated from the rest of the coal and set aside for the Master's use. When we pray, "Oh God, give me strength, give me patience," we think God's just gonna magically download patience and strength into us. It don't work like that, friend. See, we pray and ask Him for all of these awesome things, and then freak out wondering what we did wrong 'cause suddenly everything's blowing up in our face, our patience is wearing thin, there's all of this pressure coming against us and we are not strong enough to handle everything that's coming against us. But really, we're getting exactly what we asked for. It's a trial by fire. We're getting pressure from all around because God's trying to restructure us into what He wants us to be. We're going through the fire because it'll burn away all of the mess and stuff in us that isn't right. The bible talks about God being an "all-consuming fire" (Hebrews 12:29) and that literally means He consumes every single last thing. Are you gonna let God consume every part of your life? He isn't doing this to destroy you, He's doing it to strengthen you and build up your patience. It's a muscle you gotta build. It's a process you gotta go through. So instead of freaking out like, "Why's everyone against me?" "Why is this happening to me?" "Why *insert whatever*?" ask, "What is God trying to work out in me and what can I learn from this?" And then do it. Allow the Spirit of God to flow through you in those situations. James 1:4 says, "Let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing." Go through that intense heat and pressurizing process that restructures you and makes you into something new and something beautiful that can reflect the light of Jesus to everyone around you.

So that's basically it. If you got any suggestions, I welcome criticism. 😁 Aaaand keep in mind, this has to be about 5 minutes or so. Yes, I can talk really fast but I can't just give people an info dump and expect them to retain everything. 😅

Speaking of which, I'm sorry I haven't posted anything in a SUPER long time. Life's been crazy. I finished my coursework for my BA, I've been trying to make sure I have all my ducks in a line so that I can graduate in December, and then I've been freaking out about that and trying to get accepted into graduate school so I can go in January. So, basically, I'm preaching to myself as much as I'm preaching to my youth group tomorrow night, haha. Humans are great, it's the time crunches that're killing me. It's all in God's hands, though.

To all of you college and high school etc. folk, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You will get your BA done, college people! I believe in you. High schoolers, you will get your high school diploma! All y'all gonna change the world. See? I believe in you so much that this Minnesotan even said 'All y'all' for extra emphasis. You can do it. You're awesome. I love you. You guys inspire me. 😊

God bless you guys!

--Sonya :) <3

I Have a Dream

Martin Luther King Jr. was an inspirational man. Social Justice warrior, Christian, a man with uncompromising beliefs, this guy had a dream, and he pursued it with everything he had and inspired (and I dare say he still inspires) millions. That line from his speech, "I have a dream," is probably the one most remembered, quoted line that we know.

So let me use that line for a few minutes.

I have a dream. I have a dream that one day, I will see revival in a foreign country. I have a dream to preach, teach, live out and show the Gospel of Jesus Christ to people who've never heard it before. It's not gonna be me that changes people, it's gonna be the power of God that changes 'em. I just wanna be there to see it and let Him use me as a conduit of His power.

I have a dream that my unsaved family members will come to not only know Jesus, but be changed by His transformational power, go through the salvation process of Acts 2:38, and run with what He gives them. He gave me a promise, and I'm gonna hold onto that and stand on that promise 'til the day I see it fulfilled.

I have a dream that the people who have fought so hard against God will have a divine encounter with Him just like Saul of Tarsus did, and, just like he did, become the greatest apostles we've ever seen.

I have a dream that the friends and family who've left the Truth will come back and go forward stronger than before. Just because you left church doesn't mean God left you. Just because you messed up doesn't mean God's given up on you. He still loves you, He still has a plan and a purpose and a destiny for you, and He's calling you back to Him, listen to that voice, run towards the voice of God.

I have a dream that my youth group will grow in maturity, spiritually, and in number. As long as we got those three happenin', it doesn't matter to me in which order they go, but there's gotta be a spiritual maturity if we want to grow in number. A buncha young people in a building is just a social club. We have not been called to be a social club, we've been called to change the world. We gotta be a buncha Holy Spirit transformed young people, generating an atmosphere of the power and Spirit of God everywhere we go, whether it's at school, at work, at home, and yes, at church and bible studies and youth group too.

I'm not, by any stretch of the imagination, Dr. King. He was a legend. I'm just me.

But legends are what happen when someone takes a dream, picks up a worthy cause, and do whatever it takes to make it happen.

He died for his dream. Are we willing to die for ours? Or, maybe even more important, are we willing to live to make them happen?

Teen-hood Gone, On to the Twenties!!!

It's my birthday. I am no longer a teenager. GUYS. I AM NO LONGER A TEENAGER!!!!

To be honest, it doesn't feel different until I think about it. I've lived on this earth for two decades. I've seen sunrises and sunsets, good days and bad days, rainy days and sunny days and snowy days and chilly days and extra-too hot days.

I made it. Not like, made it. But I made it to my twentieth year of life. That's more than some can say. I am blessed. I got a roof over my head, a crazy family who loves and supports me, crazier friends who make life worth living, the ability to listen to music and read and write and laugh and cry and learn and move and grow. I have coffee for goodness's sake, and hot running water, and a nice phone with a great plan (thanks, mom, thanks dad :D), and a computer, and glasses, and a guitar. I could go on all day and all night.

Something struck me while I was on my way home from work today. Through the ups and the downs, God's been there for me through it all. When I was good, and when I was a complete and total mess of hormones and rebellion and pain, He was there. When I wanted to just lie down and die (both figuratively and literally), He was there, keeping me alive, keeping the blood pumping through my veins and the oxygen coming in and carbon dioxide going out. When I wanted to hit someone over the head with a folding chair or throw someone out the window, He held me back (and in some cases, sent an angel to keep me from doing something irrational like that, thanks, sis).

When I missed my friends and felt completely lost and alone, He was there. When I was broken, He was there. God had, has a plan for me. I can't go a day without Him. He's my rock and my salvation, the One who knows the beginning to the end, the One who robed Himself in flesh and came down and died for me. He's a faithful God. I can't wait to see what else He has in store for me.

And if this God has a plan for me, then trust me, He has a plan for you too. You may not be 20 yet, or maybe you're over 20, but He definitely still has a plan for your life. How do I know this? Well, if He didn't then you wouldn't be reading this, now would you? :D

Trust Him in and through the process. Pain means you're growing and that you're still alive. Pain is a lesson. You just need to learn it. When you're in the fire, He's in it with you. When the storm's raging around you, He's right there with you. Maybe He's calling you to get out of the boat and walk on the water. Maybe He's in the boat with you and you need to have more faith and stop freaking out. He said you'd make it to the other side, and if God says it, it's gonna happen. He's faithful.

Life's such a crazy thing, a precious gift. It's made up of decisions that we make. My life's not over yet, and neither is yours. We both have a chance to make our lives mean something, and God can make it mean more than we ever thought possible. So go do something with your life. Don't give up. Keep pressing forward towards the destiny that God has for you.

God bless you guys. Love ya. <3 :)

--Sonya :) <3

P.S. Guys I need a new name for this blog 'cause I'm no longer a teenager. If no one gives me suggestions, I will be forced to come up with one myself. Muahaha. But seriously though if you have suggestions, comment, I am accepting suggestions and if I like more than one I may just do a crazy mash-up so I don't know. x)

Be the Person You Needed When You Were Younger --Anonymous

"Be the person you needed when you were younger."

I can't tell you when I first saw those words in a picture while I was scrolling through Facebook one day. But I can tell you how they changed my life.

When I was younger, I was an idiot, and to be honest, I still kind of am, I'm just a little bit wiser. I was easily influenced, but I could also run on my own two feet. I loved life. Time was slow-moving, except when I was having fun with my friends. Life was an open possibility, I could be anything from an archeologist to a doctor to a racecar driver to an astronaut to a Power Ranger to a superhero to a cat.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I wanted to be a cat when I was younger. And I have actually partially accomplished this, in habit only of course. Sleeping, being nocturnal, only allowing people to touch me when I want them to, curling up on a couch, man, the only things I don't do that are cat-like are potty in a litter box, bring home 'treats' for my homeowners, and use my tongue as a shower.

I'm just kidding. I have been compared to a cat before, though, but those are stories for another day.

Anyways. The edge of the universe was the limit for me back then, and it was amazing.

Then, we moved, and I quickly learned what it's like to be on 'the outside' of a teenaged peer-group with no hopes of getting into the 'in-group'. Loneliness, heartbreak (not just the romantic kind, I mean full-on my heart broke because life hurt and people hurt and breaking down was the only thing I could do 'cause dying is never an option), be it hormones or circumstances, all of that hit me like a bullet train.

So when I first read the words, "Be the person you needed when you were younger," it made me think about all of the mistakes I've made. All the things that I feel like I could've avoided if I'd had someone experienced that I looked up to to help me. I was so immature, and I was so bad at listening, though, I'm not sure if I would've listened if an older me had been there to help me.

I do know that, had those things not happened, I wouldn't be who or where I am today. So now I feel like I need to be that person I needed when I was younger. I wished someone would've told me that I'd get through some of the messes that I did. I wished someone would've been there to shine a light to me when all I felt was darkness around me. I wished someone would've prayed with me and over me when I needed it, offered words of encouragement or something.

There were a few who did those things, but people are human, and they can't be there all the time. I understand that. But it didn't stop the wishing.

So now, I try to do those things. I try to tell people that they'll get through those situations that feel so hopeless. I try to shine a light to people who feel like they're lost and stumbling around in darkness. I pray things over people that I wish someone would've prayed over me. I try to be encouraging when someone needs it and I can see that they need it.

I can't be a people-pleaser. But I don't think that's what Paul was saying when he said, "I am become all things to all people." I think he meant that he got down on other people's level so he could reach them. He wasn't high and mighty, he wasn't oh-so-great and, "Oh you need help so I, the great Paul, will help you and bring myself down because you're so much lower." Yeah, no. He had something so precious, so amazing, and he was willing to do anything to pass it on to other people who didn't have it. If it meant becoming poor, weak, whatever, if he could shine a light and bring people to Christ, then he did it. He served people like Jesus served people.

I am not the Apostle Paul, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm just me. But I want to be that person I needed when I was younger. I want to be that person that gave someone the hope to keep hanging on. I can't do that by myself, but I know God can do that through me. And He can do it through you too.

You're a lot stronger than you were at 13. You're a whole lot stronger this year than you were last year. You can find the strength to keep going, and you can find the strength to keep reaching out to other people too. God's strength is found perfect in your weakness, so when you feel weak, don't rely on your own strength. Rely on God's. You can be the person you needed when you were younger. We may be our own worst critics, but we can also encourage ourselves in the Holy Ghost, like David did. We can be that person that someone else needs right now. Don't be afraid to believe in yourself, to try something new, to go out on a limb and step out on faith. Who knows? It may be the breaking point for someone. It may be what catapults you into your destiny, and it may be what launches someone into their victory.

You never know 'til you try. :)

Stay strong, guys. God bless you and help you, in Jesus name. And if you need someone, I'm here.

Love you guys. :)

--Sonya :) <3

Dawn's Coming, Just Hold On a Little Longer

It's my last day of Spring Break. Youth Convention was absolutely amazing, mind-blowing, convicting, life-changing, challenging, all that jazz.

I laughed. I cried. I lost my voice. I challenged myself to do hard stuff. God help me.

Sometimes you do things that God told you to do that you don't completely understand. Sometimes it's fun and easy and exciting, like maybe you make your commitment a little bit stronger by reading your Bible more or praying more often.

And other times, it hurts. You do it, and the pain doesn't hit you until maybe later. You don't realize how much it hurts until you're all alone. And suddenly you're asking yourself, "Uh, wow, what did I do?" You say, or scream, "God, I did not sign up for this. I know I'm doing what You told me to do, but I thought it wasn't going to hurt this bad. I didn't sign up for this kind of pain. I didn't sign up to feel like a punching bag. I thought I prepped for this. I thought You said You'd help me through this, where are You?" and you're crying yourself to sleep yet again wondering why you allowed yourself to start something in the first place when you knew that if God ever called upon you to give it up it'd hurt even worse.

I think it's kind of appropriate, since today (or, I guess now, yesterday) was Easter, for a little reminder. God's been there. He knows where you're at, what you're feeling. Don't forget, He did kinda come to Earth, humble Himself by robing Himself in human flesh and dwell among His creation as a servant. He was humiliated to the uttermost that a human can be humiliated, falsely accused, beaten within an inch of His life, forced to carry His own torture device up a hill while His own people insulted and screamed at Him, then nailed through His hands and His feet to a cross that had splinters and jagged edges of wood piercing the already bloody, bruised, torn up flesh of His back. He hung there for a few hours, slowly suffocating and succumbing to the agonizingly horrendous amount of pain that the people He'd come to reconcile to Himself had inflicted on Him.

And He endured all of this without raising a single protest.

Why? Because He was thinking of the future. He was seeing a kid about 13 or 14 years old, depressed to the point of attempting suicide who decided to see if maybe there was a God instead of ending his life. He was looking ahead to someone who looks like they got everything together when in reality they fall apart as soon as they're alone to when they'd finally find an altar of prayer and repentance and break before Him. He was looking ahead to you, to when you'd decide to turn to Him. He shed His precious blood to bridge the gap between you in your broken state to Heaven. He wanted to give you a connection to Him, and He wants you to know you're not alone. He didn't leave you. He knows exactly what pain you're going through. He made sure He would so that He could identify with you, so that you'd know just how much you're loved.

He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to feel the same pain we do as humans living in a jacked up world. And He didn't make it jacked up, you and I did with the choices we made. He just made a way so that we could have a different way to live. Life's not easy no matter what way you live, whether it's in the world or following God. But even when it's hard, if you have God you at least have the knowledge that you can get through it.

Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm overemotional. Maybe it really does hurt and there really is nobody I can really turn to except for God to help me through the painful transitions that I'm going through. The fire still burns, the surgeon's knife still hurts, but at least I know the God of the fire and the Healer behind the knife. He knows what we can handle.

Tears endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, right? The nights we go through may be long and hard, but dawn's coming. Just hold on, man, dawn's coming. No matter how dark it gets, just hold on, dawn will come. Dawn will come.

Love you guys. God bless.

--Sonya

When Spring, College and Bible Quizzing Collide...

Well, it's beginning to feel a lot like Springtime.
I sincerely hope you sang that in your head. x)

Anyways, I'll be honest, I LOVE hoodie weather, boots and bonfires and hot chocolate and snuggling up on the couch in front of the fire with a warm, fuzzy blanket and a good book... That love is matched with my love for being tan, barefoot, summer camp, 'break' (haha, very funny, I still have to do college through the summer) etc.

The birds are singing (they wake me up in the morning, not sure if that's good or bad), the sun is warm, I'm actually starting to get tan and it's only my second day out in the sun, and this Minnesnowa girl will be honest...

It's pretty stinkin' gorgeous outside.

Plus, the scenes in my book are all currently out of doors and have lots of green, leafy forests, rolling hills of grass, and stuff like that, and it's a lot easier to describe that when you have it right in front of you.

Also... my birthday's in the spring. So I guess that's pretty bomb. That's right. I'm leaving you minors behind, I'm becoming an adult. O.O Big 1-8, guys. Funny, it's not as scary as it used to be. Three months ago, I was literally freaking out about it, haha.

Anyways. I think I told you guys that I was taking an astronomy course, right? If I didn't, well, HEY, I'm taking an astronomy course haha. I came across something interesting. It's called 'Hubble's Law'. It's got to do with 'universal recession', the farther away a galaxy is from another galaxy, the faster it keeps moving away from that galaxy.

Still with me? Good.

So I started thinking... how come we don't do the same thing?

I'm talking metaphorically, not necessarily physically. I'm moving away from the galaxy analogy to your life now.

Why don't we start moving away from the things that hurt us, that break us down and kill us? Is it because it's easier to just stay where we are, allowing toxic relationships to continue in our lives, to not get rid of that terribly destructive mindset that says, "I'm worthless," "I'll never amount to anything," "Nobody cares," "It'd be better if I just wasn't here anymore,"? Is it easier to just let ourselves get lost in the arms of someone who we know will hurt us eventually if not already, to try to drown our sorrows in a bottle or in a pill?

Bro, sorrows can swim. I know you're hurting, but using a permanent solution for a temporary problem will only cause more pain and suffering, if not to you, then to the people who do care about you that you didn't even think about.

Some people have some serious pride issues. But insecurity is actually just the other side of the coin. Both issues have to do with the idea that "It's all about me."

This next part might hurt, but it's gotta be said: It's not all about you. Honestly, if you stopped focusing on yourself and your own problems and started looking at the world from a more objective perspective, you're mind would be blown. Everybody has problems. Everybody's got strengths and weaknesses. Everybody has good days and bad days, up days and rock-bottom days. Nobody's exempt from that.

You have a purpose in this world. You can change it. Your small existence interacts with worlds around you that you don't even realize. Are you an older sibling? You got somebody who looks up to you. You a younger sibling? You got someone who will hate you, but will do whatever it takes to protect you. You all alone in the world? There are people who see you, whether it's at your job, at school, or simply walking around at the grocery store.

You'll never know how much of an impact you have on other people's lives until you reach the pearly gates of glory. Maybe somebody you were kind to turned around and changed their lives and went around changing others' lives. Maybe a person you smiled at while walking down the street was contemplating suicide, and because of you they didn't.

Since I'm a Christian, I'm kind of obligated to insert this, but it's so true: If you turn your attention away from yourself and turn it to God, He will take care of all of your problems. That lost family member or friend you've been praying for will come to Christ. That neighbor or boss you've been having a hard time with will be at peace with you if you just keep following after God.

Here's some Word of God so you know I'm not just making this up:

2 Peter 3:9, "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."

Proverbs 16:7, "When a man's ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him."

So, you got God backing you up too, and when God says it, it's gonna happen. If it's God's will, and you're in it, it will happen.

The Bible also talks about how you must flee from youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22). I heard a preacher say it this way once: "You don't try to stand and fight lust, you run from it." Lust just means unbridled desires. Desire is okay, but not if you let it run rampant. Just like a galaxy that is getting farther away from another galaxy and increasing its speed as it goes, you need to get away from things that tempt you and keep running from it. 

One more thing before I shut up. 

Maybe you're going through what you're going through because you don't trust God enough. He'll give us a trial so that we can learn how to trust Him, so that we can learn patience, learn how to persevere and overcome any situation that God gives us. Sometimes, it might even be to show the people around us that we're the real deal, that God is all-powerful and that He gives His people what they need through the tough times and brings them through everything life throws at them.

Maybe this was just for me to get it off my chest, outta my head and into words, but I hope this encouraged somebody to keep going and to not stop. Keep pushing through. Keep trying to make sure you're right with God. Keep praying. Focus on God more than yourself. 

And read and memorize the Bible while you're at it, let the Word of God get inside you, 'cause that will help you learn how to keep your desires under control so that you won't be tempted by lust.

God bless you guys. Love ya. <3 :)

--Sonya :)