Sometimes, God does some weird, crazy stuff. Weird, like, awesome, but when you're in the middle of it it's just weird, you know?
Like, sometimes, you get lyrics or a melody stuck in your head, you write/play it out, and BAM you have this song that doesn't make sense for where you are in life right then. Maybe it's about brokenness. Maybe it's about joy. Maybe it's about growing up. And then later you get to a point in your life where, dude, I needed that song. Like, that song was written by the Me from then for the Me that's now.
It's like when you memorize a verse. Sometimes, those verses in the Bible make absolutely no sense, or they make sense but it's just head-knowledge. Yeah, I know God'll never leave me or forsake me. Yeah, I know He'll bring me through the fire and the water. Yeah, I know He's faithful.
But then you go through some crazy situation and dude, now you know that God will never leave or forsake you. Now, you know He'll bring you through the trials. Now you actually know that He's faithful.
Sometimes, we go through times where we question those promises. You feel numb to the things going on around you, and God seems distant. You're angry, you're lonely, you're unsure about what to do next. Are you making the right decision? Are you doing something that's actually glorifying God? Is what you're doing really going to help take you to where you want to be later in life, or is it all just a big waste of time?
And with those big questions like that, there comes another big question: God, are You actually listening? God, do You care about this dilemma I'm in? How come I can't hear You? Are You speaking? Am I praying hard enough, or are You just not answering me?
Raise your hand if you've done that before. Okay, good, I'm not the only one. Now, raise your hand if you've done that to someone who isn't God. Maybe a sibling, friend, parent, if you have a phone you've more than likely gone through that when they aren't texting back and you're waiting for a wise reply to a tricky question.
There's this thing called trust. You have to have the trust in order to have the relationship. Whether it's a mutual exchange 'business' kind of relationship or a romantic relationship, in order to have any kind of relationship, or to have any kind of transaction, you gotta trust.
People with trust issues: you trust the cashier to give you back your credit card when you hand it to them to pay for something. You trust the ATM to give you money when you punch in the numbers and give it your information. You don't have trust issues, you have people issues, or paranoia, one of the two.
If you have both... just pray. God'll take care of both of those issues.
Anyways, if you say you have 'trust issues' what you really mean is, "Somebody hurt me and because of that, I'm afraid that someone will hurt me again and that's why I'm careful to not open up and be vulnerable." I get it. The pain of allowing someone into your heart, or your life, or into your outer circle, and seeing them treat you like you are worthless, that hurts. You either learn to overcome that and forgive them, allowing them to go free and yourself to take the fall, or you learn to hate and get bitter over that.
The second option's easy, because it involves our idea that 'justice must be done,' that this wrong must be made right.
The first option's hard, because it means you gotta trust that God will make you stand when other people make you fall. It means you need to trust in something higher than yourself. It involves a decision-making process that is incredibly hard to make when everything inside of you screams at you to condemn, judge, kill. Your mind calls for justice, for the blood that they made you spill to be spilled by them.
But God, His Spirit, asks for mercy.
"Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." He gasped that out when He was nailed by his wrists and feet to a splintered, wooden cross. He who did no wrong was falsely accused, condemned, beaten, and nailed. If anyone had a right to cry out for justice to be done, it was Jesus Christ. But He didn't. Instead, He cried for mercy.
Sometimes, God allows us to go through these weird, crazy situations to get our attention. Where we are, who we are, what our purpose is, what makes up our character, it all has to be refined. After the thing, we realized, had it not been for *insert craziness here*, we wouldn't be who we are today and we wouldn't have a clearer vision of where we need to go. During the whole weird, crazy stuff, it's like, umm God, what's going on? But we need to just trust that He's got a plan. He's doing some weird, crazy things that are for our good. It'll work out in the end.
And that's a promise that you can stake your life on. :)
Happy summer, guys. God bless ya. <3
--Sonya
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