Okay. So me and my sister just watched the movie To Save a Life. And we managed not to cry. Although I'm pretty sure we brushed away tears throughout the movie. And my sister is NOT a very emotional person, and it had HER in tears. Because, well...
When you really think about it, when you're walking down the halls at school, or walking down the sidewalk, and you pass someone, do you really see them? Like, really see them? Sure, they take up some space on the sidewalk or in the hall, but you don't really think about it if you don't know them. They're just that person you pass sometimes.
You have no idea what people are going through until you take the time to try to find out who they are. Sometimes, a person feels like they're simply a waste of space, screaming so loud but their screams get swallowed up by the silence that is their reality. Things in their lives are so real to them, but to the people around them it's not important, it's not worth crying over, it's not worth stressing over, it's just not worth it.
And then, they hear something whisper to them, and it fills them with so much fear and hopelessness, they feel like they're drowning:
Maybe, you're not important. Maybe, the reason it's not worth it, is because you're not worth it.
So they go throughout their days, fighting that little voice, that voice that keeps whispering over and over and over again to them:
You're a waste of space. You're not worth the time. You are worthless. You are nothing. You are an unimportant being living an unimportant life doing unimportant things that amount to absolutely nothing.
You should do the world a favor and just end yourself.
And when someone yells at them for not doing better, or if someone scolds them for an accident, it just reinforces that lie.
I'm not saying you shouldn't try your best. I'm not saying that having someone tell you not to let an accident happen again isn't a good thing. But I do want to tackle that voice who's telling you, See? Even they think you're stupid. Even they think you should be better than this, but you can't do better. That's all you've got. Even they can see that you're just a waste of space, of air, they'd be happy if you'd stop giving them so many problems.
That is a lie.
That is a huge, stinking, horrible lie straight from the mouth of Satan.
If you weren't worth the effort, do you think God would've come Himself to earth? He robed Himself in the same flesh that you and I are in, and lived a life to die for you. He lived perfectly so He could ultimately die, so that you could live.
Put that knife down, love. He was already cut for you. He bled so that you wouldn't have to. He died so you wouldn't have to. He paid the price so that you wouldn't have to.
Stop believing that lie. You are worth more to Jesus than anything in the universe. He loves you so much. He wants you to stretch out your hand to Him and let Him save you.
I know there are hypocrites in the church, I know that people judge, I know that the lie still comes back and the pain is almost too much for you to bear so you cry yourself to sleep at times, I know that it's hard.
But you don't have to face it alone. Go where you know God is. Go where you know you can find Him. Get ahold of God, and don't let go no matter what because He's the only solid ground in this world that is all quicksand. This world keeps sucking you down and suffocating you 'til you finally succumb to death.
God is the God who created life. He is love. He cares when nobody else does, and He is always there for you, even when you don't feel Him.
He'll send someone if that's what you need. He'll do whatever it takes to bring you to Him. He loves you.
I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.
God bless. Have a good rest of your week.
--Sonya :)
P.S. You alone cannot fight that voice. You alone will not make it. But you and God? That's a completely different story. You and God can make it through anything. Just try Him, and don't let go. :) Love ya.
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