Okay. So me and my sister just watched the movie To Save a Life. And we managed not to cry. Although I'm pretty sure we brushed away tears throughout the movie. And my sister is NOT a very emotional person, and it had HER in tears. Because, well...
When you really think about it, when you're walking down the halls at school, or walking down the sidewalk, and you pass someone, do you really see them? Like, really see them? Sure, they take up some space on the sidewalk or in the hall, but you don't really think about it if you don't know them. They're just that person you pass sometimes.
You have no idea what people are going through until you take the time to try to find out who they are. Sometimes, a person feels like they're simply a waste of space, screaming so loud but their screams get swallowed up by the silence that is their reality. Things in their lives are so real to them, but to the people around them it's not important, it's not worth crying over, it's not worth stressing over, it's just not worth it.
And then, they hear something whisper to them, and it fills them with so much fear and hopelessness, they feel like they're drowning:
Maybe, you're not important. Maybe, the reason it's not worth it, is because you're not worth it.
So they go throughout their days, fighting that little voice, that voice that keeps whispering over and over and over again to them:
You're a waste of space. You're not worth the time. You are worthless. You are nothing. You are an unimportant being living an unimportant life doing unimportant things that amount to absolutely nothing.
You should do the world a favor and just end yourself.
And when someone yells at them for not doing better, or if someone scolds them for an accident, it just reinforces that lie.
I'm not saying you shouldn't try your best. I'm not saying that having someone tell you not to let an accident happen again isn't a good thing. But I do want to tackle that voice who's telling you, See? Even they think you're stupid. Even they think you should be better than this, but you can't do better. That's all you've got. Even they can see that you're just a waste of space, of air, they'd be happy if you'd stop giving them so many problems.
That is a lie.
That is a huge, stinking, horrible lie straight from the mouth of Satan.
If you weren't worth the effort, do you think God would've come Himself to earth? He robed Himself in the same flesh that you and I are in, and lived a life to die for you. He lived perfectly so He could ultimately die, so that you could live.
Put that knife down, love. He was already cut for you. He bled so that you wouldn't have to. He died so you wouldn't have to. He paid the price so that you wouldn't have to.
Stop believing that lie. You are worth more to Jesus than anything in the universe. He loves you so much. He wants you to stretch out your hand to Him and let Him save you.
I know there are hypocrites in the church, I know that people judge, I know that the lie still comes back and the pain is almost too much for you to bear so you cry yourself to sleep at times, I know that it's hard.
But you don't have to face it alone. Go where you know God is. Go where you know you can find Him. Get ahold of God, and don't let go no matter what because He's the only solid ground in this world that is all quicksand. This world keeps sucking you down and suffocating you 'til you finally succumb to death.
God is the God who created life. He is love. He cares when nobody else does, and He is always there for you, even when you don't feel Him.
He'll send someone if that's what you need. He'll do whatever it takes to bring you to Him. He loves you.
I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to.
God bless. Have a good rest of your week.
--Sonya :)
P.S. You alone cannot fight that voice. You alone will not make it. But you and God? That's a completely different story. You and God can make it through anything. Just try Him, and don't let go. :) Love ya.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Scattered Thoughts that Somehow Connect...Sorta (o_0)
As you can probably tell, I'm procrastinating. Like, seriously. Even when I cut out Facebook, I figure out ways to procrastinate. I check my email, check the college site to see if any more of my assignments have been graded (weird, right? But hey, that's college stuff... right?), take personality quizzes (Which Halo Character are You?....Apparently I'm the Arbiter. Wort-wort-wort-wort), write blog posts, etc.
Actually, sometimes when I can't think of anything else to write, I take a break and then come back to it a bit later. Which helps. So, don't completely push it off, but if your brain needs a break, do something constructive, and quick. Maybe take a nap.
Anyways. Who else listens to music while you study/do your homework? Hands up. Anybody? No? Really, guys? I listen to a lot of different stuff. Christian rap, Christian hard rock, Christian soft rock, Christian dubstep, Christian hip-hop, Christian electricona, Christian pop... uhh... can you tell I'm possibly a Christian?
Actually, what makes you a Christian isn't the music you listen to. Anybody can listen to Christian music and see it as just 'inspirational lyrics'. What makes you a Christian is the way you act, the way you walk out your faith in Jesus, the way you talk, how you live your life according to God's word.
Anyone who is offended by the fact that I like rock or hip hop, well... if your personal conviction is not to listen to rock or hip hop, be it Christian or secular, then good for you, stick with it, but please don't take your personal convictions and shove it down everybody's throats. God or my church's ministerial staff will talk to me if listening to that music is a sin. :)
This post is so scattered. Like my brain. I have stuff I need to do, but I either don't wanna do it, have no motivation to do it, have forgotten about it, or can't think of what else to say in that assignment but I need to write something. Ayo.
Well, guys... It's Wednesday. You only have a few more days 'til the weekend. Hang in there, sleeping in is coming soon!!!! Also, we're over halfway through April. Which means, SUMMER BREAK IS COMING SOON!!!!....for you. For me, I just do college through the whole summer, haha.
I know you got tests and finals and stuff to study up on before you graduate, either to the next grade or from high school, or from college (that will be me one day... college graduate... gaaahhh I wish it would come sooner) and I know they're hard (trust me. I may be homeschooled, but Statistics has been and is currently kicking my butt, I'm ready to chuck my computer out the window and burn my Statistics scratch paper) but you (and I) will get through it!!! Keep your chin up. You're gonna be okay, I promise. :)
Love you guys!!! God bless!!!!
--Sonya :)
Actually, sometimes when I can't think of anything else to write, I take a break and then come back to it a bit later. Which helps. So, don't completely push it off, but if your brain needs a break, do something constructive, and quick. Maybe take a nap.
Anyways. Who else listens to music while you study/do your homework? Hands up. Anybody? No? Really, guys? I listen to a lot of different stuff. Christian rap, Christian hard rock, Christian soft rock, Christian dubstep, Christian hip-hop, Christian electricona, Christian pop... uhh... can you tell I'm possibly a Christian?
Actually, what makes you a Christian isn't the music you listen to. Anybody can listen to Christian music and see it as just 'inspirational lyrics'. What makes you a Christian is the way you act, the way you walk out your faith in Jesus, the way you talk, how you live your life according to God's word.
Anyone who is offended by the fact that I like rock or hip hop, well... if your personal conviction is not to listen to rock or hip hop, be it Christian or secular, then good for you, stick with it, but please don't take your personal convictions and shove it down everybody's throats. God or my church's ministerial staff will talk to me if listening to that music is a sin. :)
This post is so scattered. Like my brain. I have stuff I need to do, but I either don't wanna do it, have no motivation to do it, have forgotten about it, or can't think of what else to say in that assignment but I need to write something. Ayo.
Well, guys... It's Wednesday. You only have a few more days 'til the weekend. Hang in there, sleeping in is coming soon!!!! Also, we're over halfway through April. Which means, SUMMER BREAK IS COMING SOON!!!!....for you. For me, I just do college through the whole summer, haha.
I know you got tests and finals and stuff to study up on before you graduate, either to the next grade or from high school, or from college (that will be me one day... college graduate... gaaahhh I wish it would come sooner) and I know they're hard (trust me. I may be homeschooled, but Statistics has been and is currently kicking my butt, I'm ready to chuck my computer out the window and burn my Statistics scratch paper) but you (and I) will get through it!!! Keep your chin up. You're gonna be okay, I promise. :)
Love you guys!!! God bless!!!!
--Sonya :)
Monday, April 6, 2015
Dawn's Coming, Just Hold On a Little Longer
It's my last day of Spring Break. Youth Convention was absolutely amazing, mind-blowing, convicting, life-changing, challenging, all that jazz.
I laughed. I cried. I lost my voice. I challenged myself to do hard stuff. God help me.
Sometimes you do things that God told you to do that you don't completely understand. Sometimes it's fun and easy and exciting, like maybe you make your commitment a little bit stronger by reading your Bible more or praying more often.
And other times, it hurts. You do it, and the pain doesn't hit you until maybe later. You don't realize how much it hurts until you're all alone. And suddenly you're asking yourself, "Uh, wow, what did I do?" You say, or scream, "God, I did not sign up for this. I know I'm doing what You told me to do, but I thought it wasn't going to hurt this bad. I didn't sign up for this kind of pain. I didn't sign up to feel like a punching bag. I thought I prepped for this. I thought You said You'd help me through this, where are You?" and you're crying yourself to sleep yet again wondering why you allowed yourself to start something in the first place when you knew that if God ever called upon you to give it up it'd hurt even worse.
I think it's kind of appropriate, since today (or, I guess now, yesterday) was Easter, for a little reminder. God's been there. He knows where you're at, what you're feeling. Don't forget, He did kinda come to Earth, humble Himself by robing Himself in human flesh and dwell among His creation as a servant. He was humiliated to the uttermost that a human can be humiliated, falsely accused, beaten within an inch of His life, forced to carry His own torture device up a hill while His own people insulted and screamed at Him, then nailed through His hands and His feet to a cross that had splinters and jagged edges of wood piercing the already bloody, bruised, torn up flesh of His back. He hung there for a few hours, slowly suffocating and succumbing to the agonizingly horrendous amount of pain that the people He'd come to reconcile to Himself had inflicted on Him.
And He endured all of this without raising a single protest.
Why? Because He was thinking of the future. He was seeing a kid about 13 or 14 years old, depressed to the point of attempting suicide who decided to see if maybe there was a God instead of ending his life. He was looking ahead to someone who looks like they got everything together when in reality they fall apart as soon as they're alone to when they'd finally find an altar of prayer and repentance and break before Him. He was looking ahead to you, to when you'd decide to turn to Him. He shed His precious blood to bridge the gap between you in your broken state to Heaven. He wanted to give you a connection to Him, and He wants you to know you're not alone. He didn't leave you. He knows exactly what pain you're going through. He made sure He would so that He could identify with you, so that you'd know just how much you're loved.
He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to feel the same pain we do as humans living in a jacked up world. And He didn't make it jacked up, you and I did with the choices we made. He just made a way so that we could have a different way to live. Life's not easy no matter what way you live, whether it's in the world or following God. But even when it's hard, if you have God you at least have the knowledge that you can get through it.
Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm overemotional. Maybe it really does hurt and there really is nobody I can really turn to except for God to help me through the painful transitions that I'm going through. The fire still burns, the surgeon's knife still hurts, but at least I know the God of the fire and the Healer behind the knife. He knows what we can handle.
Tears endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, right? The nights we go through may be long and hard, but dawn's coming. Just hold on, man, dawn's coming. No matter how dark it gets, just hold on, dawn will come. Dawn will come.
Love you guys. God bless.
--Sonya
I laughed. I cried. I lost my voice. I challenged myself to do hard stuff. God help me.
Sometimes you do things that God told you to do that you don't completely understand. Sometimes it's fun and easy and exciting, like maybe you make your commitment a little bit stronger by reading your Bible more or praying more often.
And other times, it hurts. You do it, and the pain doesn't hit you until maybe later. You don't realize how much it hurts until you're all alone. And suddenly you're asking yourself, "Uh, wow, what did I do?" You say, or scream, "God, I did not sign up for this. I know I'm doing what You told me to do, but I thought it wasn't going to hurt this bad. I didn't sign up for this kind of pain. I didn't sign up to feel like a punching bag. I thought I prepped for this. I thought You said You'd help me through this, where are You?" and you're crying yourself to sleep yet again wondering why you allowed yourself to start something in the first place when you knew that if God ever called upon you to give it up it'd hurt even worse.
I think it's kind of appropriate, since today (or, I guess now, yesterday) was Easter, for a little reminder. God's been there. He knows where you're at, what you're feeling. Don't forget, He did kinda come to Earth, humble Himself by robing Himself in human flesh and dwell among His creation as a servant. He was humiliated to the uttermost that a human can be humiliated, falsely accused, beaten within an inch of His life, forced to carry His own torture device up a hill while His own people insulted and screamed at Him, then nailed through His hands and His feet to a cross that had splinters and jagged edges of wood piercing the already bloody, bruised, torn up flesh of His back. He hung there for a few hours, slowly suffocating and succumbing to the agonizingly horrendous amount of pain that the people He'd come to reconcile to Himself had inflicted on Him.
And He endured all of this without raising a single protest.
Why? Because He was thinking of the future. He was seeing a kid about 13 or 14 years old, depressed to the point of attempting suicide who decided to see if maybe there was a God instead of ending his life. He was looking ahead to someone who looks like they got everything together when in reality they fall apart as soon as they're alone to when they'd finally find an altar of prayer and repentance and break before Him. He was looking ahead to you, to when you'd decide to turn to Him. He shed His precious blood to bridge the gap between you in your broken state to Heaven. He wanted to give you a connection to Him, and He wants you to know you're not alone. He didn't leave you. He knows exactly what pain you're going through. He made sure He would so that He could identify with you, so that you'd know just how much you're loved.
He didn't have to do that. He didn't have to feel the same pain we do as humans living in a jacked up world. And He didn't make it jacked up, you and I did with the choices we made. He just made a way so that we could have a different way to live. Life's not easy no matter what way you live, whether it's in the world or following God. But even when it's hard, if you have God you at least have the knowledge that you can get through it.
Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I'm overemotional. Maybe it really does hurt and there really is nobody I can really turn to except for God to help me through the painful transitions that I'm going through. The fire still burns, the surgeon's knife still hurts, but at least I know the God of the fire and the Healer behind the knife. He knows what we can handle.
Tears endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning, right? The nights we go through may be long and hard, but dawn's coming. Just hold on, man, dawn's coming. No matter how dark it gets, just hold on, dawn will come. Dawn will come.
Love you guys. God bless.
--Sonya
Thursday, April 2, 2015
It's April, April Fools, and IYC'15
Sooo it's the 1st of April.
And the first day of Illinois Youth Convention 2015.
We missed the first service, buuttt oh well haha. No joke, we literally walked in when service was ending, we were all super duper bummed.
And I have a cold. Sadly, no joke there either. Stuffed/runny nose. Sneezing. No fun, but when you forget about it 'cause you have an awesome youth group who makes you laugh so hard you think your stomach's gonna turn into a rock and your head's gonna explode from laughing so much, it's all good.
Anyways. April's a new month. I passed my Astronomy course, so on to new stuff!!
And by 'new stuff' I mean, Western Civ. 1 that I didn't get done last month, and a Leadership and Communications Management course this month. Oh, and finishing up Intro to Statistics.
*In Stitch's voice* College means busy. Busy means nobody gets any free time. Or breaks. Unless your mother gives you an executive order that "YOU WILL TAKE SPRING BREAK OFF WITH THE REST OF US BECAUSE YOU NEED IT OR ELSE!!!!"
Okay, I take some breaks. Like, a few hours a day. Ya know, sleeping, watching Naruto, chillin' on Facebook, procrastinating a bit here and there, you get the gist. But no 'real' breaks. Usually, when I eat (if I remember to go get food from the fridge, that is) I do it while I do school work. More convenient that way.
But this week... It's been nice. No school. I mean, prepping for next course by cruising the course site and checking the breakdown of what's gonna happen during the course and what assignments and stuff are due isn't really work for me. It's like doing research for a book. Fun, daunting, exciting, etc.
Trying to juggle college work and Bible Quizzing (We have our big Bible Quizzing Extravaganza coming up where we quiz for basically 3 days straight, it's gonna be awesome but looong and hard haha, pray for me O.O) is a bit hard, but I finally figured out how to do it. Yeah, it means giving myself more time to finish my degree and pushing away some stuff, but it's worth it.
Bible Quizzing is something I've wanted to do for years. When I was two or three, I was running around in the basement with my friends, playing before Wednesday night service. That was the first time I saw a quiz practice. My much older teenage friends were up there, hitting this big button to answer questions, and I decided that day that I really wanted to hit that big button. But I was told I couldn't because I didn't know the verses. So I decided I would learn the verses.
Well, I didn't get to hit that big button that year, or even the next, or even the next. It was about 12 years later, and moving from Tennessee (where I first heard about Bible Quizzing) to Minnesota (where I heard about it again but wasn't able to participate) and finally to Illinois where a lady and her family from Texas ended up moving to Chicago to help out the same Home Missions church that we were trying to help out, that I was finally able to hit that button.
Mind you, it'd shrunk quite a bit to our modern handheld 'buzzers', but I was finally able to learn those verses and hit that button.
And yes, it's just as awesome as I thought it'd be, in my young, 2 or 3 year old mind.
I said all that to say this: Do what's important to you. Whether it's school, art, Bible Quizzing, music, whatever, take the time to do it. What you invest your time in will eventually give back to you. Find a way to balance what you have to do and what you're passionate about. And hey, maybe those two will one day end up becoming the same thing. That's what people keep telling us, right? 'Follow your dreams', 'follow your passion'.
If you don't know what your passion is, meh, it's never too late to find it. Pray, let God lead you. And if you know what it is, let God keep leading you to wherever that passion will take you.
For those of you on Spring Break, have a good one!!! And for those of you who aren't, keep holding on, weekend's coming soon!!!! :D
God bless!!
--Sonya :)
And the first day of Illinois Youth Convention 2015.
We missed the first service, buuttt oh well haha. No joke, we literally walked in when service was ending, we were all super duper bummed.
And I have a cold. Sadly, no joke there either. Stuffed/runny nose. Sneezing. No fun, but when you forget about it 'cause you have an awesome youth group who makes you laugh so hard you think your stomach's gonna turn into a rock and your head's gonna explode from laughing so much, it's all good.
Anyways. April's a new month. I passed my Astronomy course, so on to new stuff!!
And by 'new stuff' I mean, Western Civ. 1 that I didn't get done last month, and a Leadership and Communications Management course this month. Oh, and finishing up Intro to Statistics.
*In Stitch's voice* College means busy. Busy means nobody gets any free time. Or breaks. Unless your mother gives you an executive order that "YOU WILL TAKE SPRING BREAK OFF WITH THE REST OF US BECAUSE YOU NEED IT OR ELSE!!!!"
Okay, I take some breaks. Like, a few hours a day. Ya know, sleeping, watching Naruto, chillin' on Facebook, procrastinating a bit here and there, you get the gist. But no 'real' breaks. Usually, when I eat (if I remember to go get food from the fridge, that is) I do it while I do school work. More convenient that way.
But this week... It's been nice. No school. I mean, prepping for next course by cruising the course site and checking the breakdown of what's gonna happen during the course and what assignments and stuff are due isn't really work for me. It's like doing research for a book. Fun, daunting, exciting, etc.
Trying to juggle college work and Bible Quizzing (We have our big Bible Quizzing Extravaganza coming up where we quiz for basically 3 days straight, it's gonna be awesome but looong and hard haha, pray for me O.O) is a bit hard, but I finally figured out how to do it. Yeah, it means giving myself more time to finish my degree and pushing away some stuff, but it's worth it.
Bible Quizzing is something I've wanted to do for years. When I was two or three, I was running around in the basement with my friends, playing before Wednesday night service. That was the first time I saw a quiz practice. My much older teenage friends were up there, hitting this big button to answer questions, and I decided that day that I really wanted to hit that big button. But I was told I couldn't because I didn't know the verses. So I decided I would learn the verses.
Well, I didn't get to hit that big button that year, or even the next, or even the next. It was about 12 years later, and moving from Tennessee (where I first heard about Bible Quizzing) to Minnesota (where I heard about it again but wasn't able to participate) and finally to Illinois where a lady and her family from Texas ended up moving to Chicago to help out the same Home Missions church that we were trying to help out, that I was finally able to hit that button.
Mind you, it'd shrunk quite a bit to our modern handheld 'buzzers', but I was finally able to learn those verses and hit that button.
And yes, it's just as awesome as I thought it'd be, in my young, 2 or 3 year old mind.
I said all that to say this: Do what's important to you. Whether it's school, art, Bible Quizzing, music, whatever, take the time to do it. What you invest your time in will eventually give back to you. Find a way to balance what you have to do and what you're passionate about. And hey, maybe those two will one day end up becoming the same thing. That's what people keep telling us, right? 'Follow your dreams', 'follow your passion'.
If you don't know what your passion is, meh, it's never too late to find it. Pray, let God lead you. And if you know what it is, let God keep leading you to wherever that passion will take you.
For those of you on Spring Break, have a good one!!! And for those of you who aren't, keep holding on, weekend's coming soon!!!! :D
God bless!!
--Sonya :)
Thursday, March 12, 2015
When Spring, College and Bible Quizzing Collide...
Well, it's beginning to feel a lot like Springtime.
I sincerely hope you sang that in your head. x)
Anyways, I'll be honest, I LOVE hoodie weather, boots and bonfires and hot chocolate and snuggling up on the couch in front of the fire with a warm, fuzzy blanket and a good book... That love is matched with my love for being tan, barefoot, summer camp, 'break' (haha, very funny, I still have to do college through the summer) etc.
The birds are singing (they wake me up in the morning, not sure if that's good or bad), the sun is warm, I'm actually starting to get tan and it's only my second day out in the sun, and this Minnesnowa girl will be honest...
It's pretty stinkin' gorgeous outside.
Plus, the scenes in my book are all currently out of doors and have lots of green, leafy forests, rolling hills of grass, and stuff like that, and it's a lot easier to describe that when you have it right in front of you.
Also... my birthday's in the spring. So I guess that's pretty bomb. That's right. I'm leaving you minors behind, I'm becoming an adult. O.O Big 1-8, guys. Funny, it's not as scary as it used to be. Three months ago, I was literally freaking out about it, haha.
Anyways. I think I told you guys that I was taking an astronomy course, right? If I didn't, well, HEY, I'm taking an astronomy course haha. I came across something interesting. It's called 'Hubble's Law'. It's got to do with 'universal recession', the farther away a galaxy is from another galaxy, the faster it keeps moving away from that galaxy.
Still with me? Good.
So I started thinking... how come we don't do the same thing?
I'm talking metaphorically, not necessarily physically. I'm moving away from the galaxy analogy to your life now.
Why don't we start moving away from the things that hurt us, that break us down and kill us? Is it because it's easier to just stay where we are, allowing toxic relationships to continue in our lives, to not get rid of that terribly destructive mindset that says, "I'm worthless," "I'll never amount to anything," "Nobody cares," "It'd be better if I just wasn't here anymore,"? Is it easier to just let ourselves get lost in the arms of someone who we know will hurt us eventually if not already, to try to drown our sorrows in a bottle or in a pill?
Bro, sorrows can swim. I know you're hurting, but using a permanent solution for a temporary problem will only cause more pain and suffering, if not to you, then to the people who do care about you that you didn't even think about.
Some people have some serious pride issues. But insecurity is actually just the other side of the coin. Both issues have to do with the idea that "It's all about me."
This next part might hurt, but it's gotta be said: It's not all about you. Honestly, if you stopped focusing on yourself and your own problems and started looking at the world from a more objective perspective, you're mind would be blown. Everybody has problems. Everybody's got strengths and weaknesses. Everybody has good days and bad days, up days and rock-bottom days. Nobody's exempt from that.
You have a purpose in this world. You can change it. Your small existence interacts with worlds around you that you don't even realize. Are you an older sibling? You got somebody who looks up to you. You a younger sibling? You got someone who will hate you, but will do whatever it takes to protect you. You all alone in the world? There are people who see you, whether it's at your job, at school, or simply walking around at the grocery store.
You'll never know how much of an impact you have on other people's lives until you reach the pearly gates of glory. Maybe somebody you were kind to turned around and changed their lives and went around changing others' lives. Maybe a person you smiled at while walking down the street was contemplating suicide, and because of you they didn't.
Since I'm a Christian, I'm kind of obligated to insert this, but it's so true: If you turn your attention away from yourself and turn it to God, He will take care of all of your problems. That lost family member or friend you've been praying for will come to Christ. That neighbor or boss you've been having a hard time with will be at peace with you if you just keep following after God.
Here's some Word of God so you know I'm not just making this up:
2 Peter 3:9, "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."
I sincerely hope you sang that in your head. x)
Anyways, I'll be honest, I LOVE hoodie weather, boots and bonfires and hot chocolate and snuggling up on the couch in front of the fire with a warm, fuzzy blanket and a good book... That love is matched with my love for being tan, barefoot, summer camp, 'break' (haha, very funny, I still have to do college through the summer) etc.
The birds are singing (they wake me up in the morning, not sure if that's good or bad), the sun is warm, I'm actually starting to get tan and it's only my second day out in the sun, and this Minnesnowa girl will be honest...
It's pretty stinkin' gorgeous outside.
Plus, the scenes in my book are all currently out of doors and have lots of green, leafy forests, rolling hills of grass, and stuff like that, and it's a lot easier to describe that when you have it right in front of you.
Also... my birthday's in the spring. So I guess that's pretty bomb. That's right. I'm leaving you minors behind, I'm becoming an adult. O.O Big 1-8, guys. Funny, it's not as scary as it used to be. Three months ago, I was literally freaking out about it, haha.
Anyways. I think I told you guys that I was taking an astronomy course, right? If I didn't, well, HEY, I'm taking an astronomy course haha. I came across something interesting. It's called 'Hubble's Law'. It's got to do with 'universal recession', the farther away a galaxy is from another galaxy, the faster it keeps moving away from that galaxy.
Still with me? Good.
So I started thinking... how come we don't do the same thing?
I'm talking metaphorically, not necessarily physically. I'm moving away from the galaxy analogy to your life now.
Why don't we start moving away from the things that hurt us, that break us down and kill us? Is it because it's easier to just stay where we are, allowing toxic relationships to continue in our lives, to not get rid of that terribly destructive mindset that says, "I'm worthless," "I'll never amount to anything," "Nobody cares," "It'd be better if I just wasn't here anymore,"? Is it easier to just let ourselves get lost in the arms of someone who we know will hurt us eventually if not already, to try to drown our sorrows in a bottle or in a pill?
Bro, sorrows can swim. I know you're hurting, but using a permanent solution for a temporary problem will only cause more pain and suffering, if not to you, then to the people who do care about you that you didn't even think about.
Some people have some serious pride issues. But insecurity is actually just the other side of the coin. Both issues have to do with the idea that "It's all about me."
This next part might hurt, but it's gotta be said: It's not all about you. Honestly, if you stopped focusing on yourself and your own problems and started looking at the world from a more objective perspective, you're mind would be blown. Everybody has problems. Everybody's got strengths and weaknesses. Everybody has good days and bad days, up days and rock-bottom days. Nobody's exempt from that.
You have a purpose in this world. You can change it. Your small existence interacts with worlds around you that you don't even realize. Are you an older sibling? You got somebody who looks up to you. You a younger sibling? You got someone who will hate you, but will do whatever it takes to protect you. You all alone in the world? There are people who see you, whether it's at your job, at school, or simply walking around at the grocery store.
You'll never know how much of an impact you have on other people's lives until you reach the pearly gates of glory. Maybe somebody you were kind to turned around and changed their lives and went around changing others' lives. Maybe a person you smiled at while walking down the street was contemplating suicide, and because of you they didn't.
Since I'm a Christian, I'm kind of obligated to insert this, but it's so true: If you turn your attention away from yourself and turn it to God, He will take care of all of your problems. That lost family member or friend you've been praying for will come to Christ. That neighbor or boss you've been having a hard time with will be at peace with you if you just keep following after God.
Here's some Word of God so you know I'm not just making this up:
2 Peter 3:9, "The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance."
Proverbs 16:7, "When a man's ways please the Lord, He maketh even his enemies to be at peace with him."
So, you got God backing you up too, and when God says it, it's gonna happen. If it's God's will, and you're in it, it will happen.
The Bible also talks about how you must flee from youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22). I heard a preacher say it this way once: "You don't try to stand and fight lust, you run from it." Lust just means unbridled desires. Desire is okay, but not if you let it run rampant. Just like a galaxy that is getting farther away from another galaxy and increasing its speed as it goes, you need to get away from things that tempt you and keep running from it.
One more thing before I shut up.
Maybe you're going through what you're going through because you don't trust God enough. He'll give us a trial so that we can learn how to trust Him, so that we can learn patience, learn how to persevere and overcome any situation that God gives us. Sometimes, it might even be to show the people around us that we're the real deal, that God is all-powerful and that He gives His people what they need through the tough times and brings them through everything life throws at them.
Maybe this was just for me to get it off my chest, outta my head and into words, but I hope this encouraged somebody to keep going and to not stop. Keep pushing through. Keep trying to make sure you're right with God. Keep praying. Focus on God more than yourself.
And read and memorize the Bible while you're at it, let the Word of God get inside you, 'cause that will help you learn how to keep your desires under control so that you won't be tempted by lust.
God bless you guys. Love ya. <3 :)
--Sonya :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2015
School... Stress... Oh Look, a Wild Blog Post has Appeared!!!
Dude. It has been too long since I've posted.
Well guys, lemme see...
I failed my first test in college last month. AWESOME....not. I'll be honest. When nobody was around, I cried. Don't judge me, you would cry too if you'd just wasted $80 on a test that should've been stupid easy to pass.
And trust me, the questions were stupid easy. Like, 'who did this,' 'what does this mean,' those kinds of questions. They focused on stuff I didn't expect, which was probably my bad, but I mean, WHEN YOU THINK OF ART HISTORY YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO FOCUS ON THE FOUR BIG GUYS OF THE RENAISSANCE, NOT THE GUYS FROM THE BACKSIDE OF THE DESERT (ahem, I mean Northern Renaissance).
This is the part where we all face-table. You guys know what I'm talking about.
Okay. Rant over. I'm sorry I rant so much.
Anyways, I been working on some new courses, Astronomy and Western Civ. 1. Interesting stuff, man. Great thing about Astronomy, we've watched so many documentaries on it recently I already understand parts of it. And Western Civ, I know a lot of the information already THANK YOU JESUS!!!!
Also, thanks, Mom, for making us learn that stuff. And kids, pay attention in history class, you never know when that backhand knowledge might come in handy. :D
So how's school going for you guys?? Non-homeschooled seniors, are you excited that you're gonna be out of high school in a few months or what?
Speaking of which....
There's this other 'course' I've been working on for my college. It's called the CollegePlus Ambassador Program. My 'final exam' is basically to present CollegePlus as an option for people to get their bachelor's degree. I get extra points for people 13 and older who come and don't have a bachelor's degree.
It's also this Friday at 6pm. I know, right? Scary. My stomach does gymnastics every time I think about it.
If you live in the Glenview, IL area or around it, and you might be interested, comment on this post for more information. :)
Well guys, it's time for me to get back to studying. Love ya, and stay strong, weekend is coming!!!! And so is Spring Break!!! And so is Summer!!!..... in a few months.
God bless!!! :)
--Sonya :)
Well guys, lemme see...
I failed my first test in college last month. AWESOME....not. I'll be honest. When nobody was around, I cried. Don't judge me, you would cry too if you'd just wasted $80 on a test that should've been stupid easy to pass.
And trust me, the questions were stupid easy. Like, 'who did this,' 'what does this mean,' those kinds of questions. They focused on stuff I didn't expect, which was probably my bad, but I mean, WHEN YOU THINK OF ART HISTORY YOU'D EXPECT THEM TO FOCUS ON THE FOUR BIG GUYS OF THE RENAISSANCE, NOT THE GUYS FROM THE BACKSIDE OF THE DESERT (ahem, I mean Northern Renaissance).
This is the part where we all face-table. You guys know what I'm talking about.
Okay. Rant over. I'm sorry I rant so much.
Anyways, I been working on some new courses, Astronomy and Western Civ. 1. Interesting stuff, man. Great thing about Astronomy, we've watched so many documentaries on it recently I already understand parts of it. And Western Civ, I know a lot of the information already THANK YOU JESUS!!!!
Also, thanks, Mom, for making us learn that stuff. And kids, pay attention in history class, you never know when that backhand knowledge might come in handy. :D
So how's school going for you guys?? Non-homeschooled seniors, are you excited that you're gonna be out of high school in a few months or what?
Speaking of which....
There's this other 'course' I've been working on for my college. It's called the CollegePlus Ambassador Program. My 'final exam' is basically to present CollegePlus as an option for people to get their bachelor's degree. I get extra points for people 13 and older who come and don't have a bachelor's degree.
It's also this Friday at 6pm. I know, right? Scary. My stomach does gymnastics every time I think about it.
If you live in the Glenview, IL area or around it, and you might be interested, comment on this post for more information. :)
Well guys, it's time for me to get back to studying. Love ya, and stay strong, weekend is coming!!!! And so is Spring Break!!! And so is Summer!!!..... in a few months.
God bless!!! :)
--Sonya :)
Thursday, December 4, 2014
The Real Reason I Became an Author
So, I'm going through a college course called Human Growth and Development. One of the best things about this course is that I've already studied roughly half the material it covers in other courses, Intro to Psych, Intro to Educational Psych, Intro to Sociology, stuff like that.
Basically, I get to study how you've grown from a bunch a microscopic cells to the beautiful you that you are now. If you're going through puberty, man, I feel ya, that stuff is nuts, and now I know most of what exactly's happening to us.
Yes, people, it took this homeschooled kid a COLLEGE course to finally learn this stuff. Don't judge me!
Anyways, I got to this section in the book where it started to talk about 'play' and how it actually helps a kid grow cognitively and socially. And then it hit me.
All authors of fiction books are just little kids at heart, playing 'pretend,' daydreaming and letting their imaginations run wild.
It's like this:
Writing fiction is the opportunity for a non-child to become a child again. It's the world of imagination and 'let's pretend' that we all played when we were younger, but on paper. It's a chance to right (or, you know, write, haha) old wrongs and go back in time to change something. It's a chance to daydream and not be screamed at for it because you can actually make a living off it. It's the chance to do what you've always wanted to do, be an amazing athlete or daring explorer, an indie grunge rocker or that amazingly popular person you never were in high school, a fairy or a unicorn, your imagination's the limit. You can do whatever you want in a world of your own construction, and nobody can tell you otherwise (except maybe your editor and beta readers, in which case you should take at least some of their advice so that your story can explode into more amazingness than you ever could've thought possible).
It's why some people haven't gotten punched in the face. I just base a character off of them, brutally kill them in my books, or make them the bad guys in which I, AHEM I MEAN MY CHARACTERS IN MY BOOKS punch them in the face.
This is why they have that 'If there are any characters that seem to resemble any person you know it is purely coincidence' things in the books. Because of authors like me who take out their inner frustration at people they know on their characters. :)
Anyways....
Um...
Yeah. That's kinda it.
Hope you guys are having a fan-stinkin-tastic week, I love you all!!! And if you're having a really bad week then I hope you keep your chin up and keep smiling. You're important. You do matter. Bad grades come and go, people come and go, emotions come and go, but God's always here, and He's here to stay.
Love you guys again, and Happy Thanksgiving/Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!!!
Speaking of which that reminds me... NANOWRIMO IS OVER!!!! And I'm still in the middle of my book. I hit the 50,000. I'm going on +60,000.
Pray for me, guys. This book be gettin' super long haha.
God bless!!!!
--Sonya :)
Basically, I get to study how you've grown from a bunch a microscopic cells to the beautiful you that you are now. If you're going through puberty, man, I feel ya, that stuff is nuts, and now I know most of what exactly's happening to us.
Yes, people, it took this homeschooled kid a COLLEGE course to finally learn this stuff. Don't judge me!
Anyways, I got to this section in the book where it started to talk about 'play' and how it actually helps a kid grow cognitively and socially. And then it hit me.
All authors of fiction books are just little kids at heart, playing 'pretend,' daydreaming and letting their imaginations run wild.
It's like this:
Writing fiction is the opportunity for a non-child to become a child again. It's the world of imagination and 'let's pretend' that we all played when we were younger, but on paper. It's a chance to right (or, you know, write, haha) old wrongs and go back in time to change something. It's a chance to daydream and not be screamed at for it because you can actually make a living off it. It's the chance to do what you've always wanted to do, be an amazing athlete or daring explorer, an indie grunge rocker or that amazingly popular person you never were in high school, a fairy or a unicorn, your imagination's the limit. You can do whatever you want in a world of your own construction, and nobody can tell you otherwise (except maybe your editor and beta readers, in which case you should take at least some of their advice so that your story can explode into more amazingness than you ever could've thought possible).
It's why some people haven't gotten punched in the face. I just base a character off of them, brutally kill them in my books, or make them the bad guys in which I, AHEM I MEAN MY CHARACTERS IN MY BOOKS punch them in the face.
This is why they have that 'If there are any characters that seem to resemble any person you know it is purely coincidence' things in the books. Because of authors like me who take out their inner frustration at people they know on their characters. :)
Anyways....
Um...
Yeah. That's kinda it.
Hope you guys are having a fan-stinkin-tastic week, I love you all!!! And if you're having a really bad week then I hope you keep your chin up and keep smiling. You're important. You do matter. Bad grades come and go, people come and go, emotions come and go, but God's always here, and He's here to stay.
Love you guys again, and Happy Thanksgiving/Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!!!
Speaking of which that reminds me... NANOWRIMO IS OVER!!!! And I'm still in the middle of my book. I hit the 50,000. I'm going on +60,000.
Pray for me, guys. This book be gettin' super long haha.
God bless!!!!
--Sonya :)
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