My Testimony

My testimony is pretty simple: parents got into church when I was two, been living in it ever since. There've been ups and downs, but through it all, God's been faithful.

I basically grew up in church as a minister's kid. My parents were always involved in ministry, and for the longest time, I thought being in church basically meant music, preaching, Sunday School teaching, and Filipino food, I mean, Bible Study with Filipino food.

As I got older, I started getting involved in ministry, doing music, teaching Bible studies, preaching. The older I got, the more I noticed that I am so far from perfect, and the more I got into ministry the more I realized that people were expecting me to be perfect. I was starving for someone to see past the violin-player, the hopping Chinese-preacher's daughter, the alto at church, the kid who'd grown up in church and never knew alcohol or drugs or partying and stuff. I wasn't, and still am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but the pressure I felt (some imagined but some legit too) was real. The struggle was real, guys.

It got more real when I realized that God wants me to do something great for His kingdom. First I got people expecting me to be perfect, I got myself expecting me to be perfect, and now I've got God Almighty expecting me to be able to do something great for His kingdom? I can barely string two coherent sentences together when I'm tired, how am I supposed to do something great for God's Kingdom?!

Anybody else feel me there?

I'll be real honest. Sometimes, I wanted to throw in the towel and say, "Nope, I'm done!" I felt overwhelmed, underappreciated, inadequate and unseen. Everything I wanted didn't matter, my voice didn't matter, nothing mattered. Looking back, all I really needed was a good prayer sesh and a mindset change, but in the moment dude. There were times I just wanted to give it all up because I'm too small to make a big difference. "God must've made a mistake when He chose me," I thought. The Moses syndrome was real, me begging God to choose somebody else.

But every single stinkin' time I asked Him to choose someone else and just kill me (I'm an overdramatic human, guys, chill), God answered back, "No. I'm not gonna choose somebody else, I chose you. It's not because you're such a great person or you've accomplished so many great things are because you're the most qualified person for the job. I chose you because I want you to do it. And when you do it, you're not doing it by yourself. It's not by your might or your own power or your own strength that you're going to accomplish this, it's by My Spirit." Every single stinkin' time I wanted to throw in the towel and give up, God said, "I'm not giving up on you. Even when you've given up on yourself, I'm not going to give up on you."

Guys. 1 John 4:8 talks about how we have to have love because God is love, but allow me to highlight that last part real quick. "God is love." Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it's impossible to please God, and James 2 talks about how faith without works is dead, and Galatians 5:6 says that faith worketh by love. It comes full circle. We gotta have love to really do anything.

This seems like a bit of a tangent but let me bring it back here.

1 Corinthians 13 is 'the love chapter'. Without love, everything we do is basically useless noise. Love is patient, love is kind, love is all these different things, love is who God is. After everything we've done to Him, Jesus still loves us. My sins drove the nails into His hands and feet. He's got every right to give up on me, to never create me or give me this life I'm living. But despite all my flaws, despite the times I wanna give up, He remains faithful and says to me, "I'm not gonna give up on you."

That's how I know God is faithful. That's how I know He loves me. That's how I know He loves you.

You're on this Earth for a reason, and no matter how many times you screw up and consider quitting, He still loves you and will chase after you because He wants you.

And that's my testimony. What's yours?

Love you guys. Summer's coming, hang in there, friends. God bless yous! :) 💖