It's 2016. People are trying to be like, "New year, new me," like they do every year, but honestly, they don't. It's a new year, but people are still the same old selves they were back in 2015, you know what I mean?
Sorry, just a pet peeve of mine. Like, you say you're gonna do this, so why don't you actually do it? Leave behind all that junk in 2015.
I know it's harder than that. But you'd think they'd at least try for like, a month.
I am still a mess. I have a Bible Quizzing Tournament in a week and a half, I have to study for a big UExcel exam (which is like a glorified CLEP, more in depth, etc.), I have a new Statistics course (and we all know how well the last one went, check earlier posts), and I failed the road test for my driver's license. Um, my mom thinks I can become an amazing driver in a week and wants to take me back to the DMV next week. I'll let you know how badly that turns out. Oh yeah, and this Friday I'm playing keyboard for our youth group. I have recently begun to realize how amateur of a musician I really am, and believe me, it ain't pretty. So I have to practice for that.
Lotsa pressure from lotsa different places. AT LEAST my dad didn't rip into me for failing the road test. Growing up with a Chinese dad, you kind of expect to get ripped into if you don't pass a test the best anyone possibly can. Nope, not just a stereotype. Lots of parents (not just Chinese) have high expectations of their kids, soooo I'm hoping at least one of you are feeling me here.
Ever get that feeling that you're being crushed by a boulder, very slowly? Like, at first it hurts so bad, then after a while you get used to it, and then suddenly there's more pressure and you feel like you're going to break apart into millions of tiny pieces 'cause you can't handle it. Then you get used to that too. But just when you get used to it, more pressure hits you. Or maybe you get a small break, a little bit of relief from the pressure for a little while. But when you come back to it, the pressure's there, and worse now. You feel like it shouldn't be, it's the same pressure you've always had, but it's still heavy, it still hurts, and you're still scared to death it'll crush you and you'll be that person. You know that one, the one who has no direction, failed when they tried and could never regain their footing, the one who "never amounted to anything even though they had so much potential."
Well... enough with the pity party, babe. I come against that fear, that lie, in the name of Jesus. You and me are gonna get through this, the situations we're going through are temporary, and I promise you that we will prove those lies wrong and achieve those dreams God put deep inside of our hearts. We just gotta keep going, keep pushing through, never give up, and have faith in God that He'll bring us through this path He set our feet on.
Love you guys. Keep your chins up. God bless.
--Sonya <3
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