It's been a while and there's a reason for that (and that's also why I renamed this blog what I renamed it, HAH!).
Drum roll, please! *drum roll*
I'm actually trying to be an adult and pursue what God's called me to do. That's the basic gist of it. Now, let's dive into some of the details.
This year, I finally got serious about figuring out the HOW of what I wanna do with my life. I was figuring that out last year, for sure, and got it mostly figured out by the end of 2018, BUT I also needed to figure the basic action steps for it.
In November, I started actively and seriously looking into possible short-term overseas mission trips I could do. I also started looking into teaching English certifications and degrees so that, in the case of moving overseas, I could, you know, actually support myself (because dreams don't pay the bills, action and jobs do 😜). I found a TESL/TEFL program and was all set, but at the last minute it got canceled and I was like, "Uhh, what now?" and then my dad was like, "Hey check this out!" and that was that. Since July of this year, I've been working on an online course to become TEFL certified so I can go teach places and pay bills and adult.
But, I'm sure you're wondering, WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING SINCE JANUARY?!?! I'm glad you asked. I've been adulting. Working, praying, being a Bible Quizzing coach, writing random stories that pop into my head, doing music with the orchestra, you know, all those adulting things. Oh, and we did a summer music program, played for Maestro Muti (that was inSANE!), had like, 6 or 7 concerts in the space of three weeks, took a road trip to Dallas, St Louis (this one was a DOOZY of activity because it was NABQT and then NAYC in the space of 9 days and a lot of crazy stuff, we survived though!), and then a fun trip to MI for Apex, and now we're home and things aren't really calming down.
Quick side note about this year's Apex. If you ever need a group of really cool people to do online college with, a community that's got your back long after you graduate or before you even decide if you wanna do online college with us, then you gotta join Unbound. These people are fun, genuine, goofy, deep, responsible, supportive, caring, and all that other good stuff. Also, you can graduate with little to no student debt, and, with the way most of your average college students are drowning in college debt, I'd say that's kinda a big deal. So yeah. Apex was amazing. The speakers were legit, the team-building "Blitz" games were AWESOME (GO OLYMPUS!), and I became friends with and got to know some really incredible people. Be Unbound.
Okay, anyways. Since then, I've been catching up on sleep (sorta), working, filling out applications, studying TEFL stuff, and we haven't even started on what we've been doing for church (we had a rummage sale, a VBS, and a carwash fundraiser for SFC on three consecutive weekends, to give you an idea of how busy we've been). All in all, it's been a busy year.
I am really excited about everything that's going to happen during the rest of this year. I have a few more trips planned, I'm going to finish my TEFL certification around the end of September/beginning of October, and I can't wait to see what doors God will open up for a bunch of different things.
2019 has been a year of growth and unexpected, happy surprises. That's not to say there weren't some rough patches, but God's been shifting my perspective to look at things in a more positive light. Funny how things can seem so dark and bad, but then, later on, you're able to look at that situation (or situations) and you're just like, "Ahh, I see You doing cool stuff, God!" We're really blessed.
For those of you starting school, I wish you the best! For those who've already started, you got this, go you! And to those who are done and are trying to adult, through God, everything is possible. We're in the same boat, and I'm proud of what you're doing to be who God's called you to be.
Love you guys! 🤗😁💛
Monday, August 26, 2019
Monday, December 31, 2018
Reflecting on 2018
Well, guys. It has been a YEAR. And by YEAR, I mean, whew. Like, I'm glad it happened and I'm glad it's over at the same time.
The tail end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 set off a chain of events that impacted me in a way that no blog post or autobiography could ever make you completely understand. I watched my plans, dreams, and aspirations fall apart before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. Like any melodramatic kid, I broke down and cried about it for a good long bit, and then turned around and tried to figure it out. Did I figure stuff out? You bet I did. Did I learn from my mistakes? Mostly. Did I deal with my internal mess perfectly? HAH. No, I absolutely did not.
I put so much pressure on myself, it's ridiculous. But man, has God been faithful. Through all my anxiety about the future, beating myself up about the past and present, my freak outs and breakdowns and all that *lovely* jazz, God's just been teaching me about myself and who He is through it all. Because even when I was an angry, bitter mess, He stuck by my side and gave me opportunities to do things that, low-key, had my plans worked out how I wanted, I never would've gotten the chance to do this stuff.
I joined an orchestra. We went to China. I went to Georgia and ministered at a church for their youth weekend. I got to hang out with some incredible people. I made a tentative 'five year plan' that has since turned into a one-year-plan because bruh, God be like, "Yeah, I want this to happen now so like, you gonna do this now," and I'm like, "Haha wut" and He's just like, "Mhmm," and I be like, "😶 okee" and that's that.
There were some way lows, but there were some pretty amazing highs to this year too. I'm thankful for the people who stuck by my side despite the fact that I definitely pushed some of them to the breaking point. I'm thankful that God decided that my plans weren't as good as His plans and changed things up. I'm really thankful for the growth I've experienced and the direction I now have to go in. I'm thankful for the support I've gotten and the comfort zones I've been pushed out of, the things I've gotten to experience.
Dude, I could go on but like, I feel like I'll start talking in circles SOOOO.
I'm thankful. I also need to go practice my instruments. I will try to blog more regularly but no promises. 😜
Love all you guys. God bless you, and I hope you have a very wonderful Happy New Year!!!!
The tail end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 set off a chain of events that impacted me in a way that no blog post or autobiography could ever make you completely understand. I watched my plans, dreams, and aspirations fall apart before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. Like any melodramatic kid, I broke down and cried about it for a good long bit, and then turned around and tried to figure it out. Did I figure stuff out? You bet I did. Did I learn from my mistakes? Mostly. Did I deal with my internal mess perfectly? HAH. No, I absolutely did not.
I put so much pressure on myself, it's ridiculous. But man, has God been faithful. Through all my anxiety about the future, beating myself up about the past and present, my freak outs and breakdowns and all that *lovely* jazz, God's just been teaching me about myself and who He is through it all. Because even when I was an angry, bitter mess, He stuck by my side and gave me opportunities to do things that, low-key, had my plans worked out how I wanted, I never would've gotten the chance to do this stuff.
I joined an orchestra. We went to China. I went to Georgia and ministered at a church for their youth weekend. I got to hang out with some incredible people. I made a tentative 'five year plan' that has since turned into a one-year-plan because bruh, God be like, "Yeah, I want this to happen now so like, you gonna do this now," and I'm like, "Haha wut" and He's just like, "Mhmm," and I be like, "😶 okee" and that's that.
There were some way lows, but there were some pretty amazing highs to this year too. I'm thankful for the people who stuck by my side despite the fact that I definitely pushed some of them to the breaking point. I'm thankful that God decided that my plans weren't as good as His plans and changed things up. I'm really thankful for the growth I've experienced and the direction I now have to go in. I'm thankful for the support I've gotten and the comfort zones I've been pushed out of, the things I've gotten to experience.
Dude, I could go on but like, I feel like I'll start talking in circles SOOOO.
I'm thankful. I also need to go practice my instruments. I will try to blog more regularly but no promises. 😜
Love all you guys. God bless you, and I hope you have a very wonderful Happy New Year!!!!
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Wilderness Experience and Promised Land Mindset
It's been a good long minute since I last posted something. Life's been chaotic. Good chaotic. More on that in a later post.
Anywho.
Isaiah 41:9-10 NLT, "I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You are my servant.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
The Lord says this through Isaiah, all in the context of talking about how great He (God) is.
Here are some of my thoughts: Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how great, or how big and powerful our enemies and our problems are that we forget the One who can turn it all around in an instant. Sometimes, we complain about how we feel so much that we need to be sent through a wilderness for a bit so that all of that complaining and junk can die off of us. If we tried to possess the promises in the state of mind that we're in, God wouldn't get the glory. In fact, we probably wouldn't even appreciate the fact that He gave us our promises. We'd find something else to complain about!
I mean, look at the Israelites. From what it looks like, it was a two-week journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. Two stinking weeks. And you know how long it took 'em to get there? Forty days. Bruh. 'Cause they was a mess. It's like God took 'em the scenic route because He knew they'd act stupid. It's like when a parent drives around the block fifty times waiting for their baby to fall asleep. But then after they got there, they were like, nah, we can't possess that, we're way too small, and so they had to wander around in the wilderness for another forty years.
See, other times, we get so wrapped up in how pitiful we are, we don't think we're worth possessing our promises. It's like, "Oh, I'm trash. I know God said this, but I could never do that. I'm not qualified, I've messed up too many times, when I mess this up He'll just abandon me and move on to someone else." That has to die too. Another wilderness, another season of getting to know God in a more personal way, of seeing His provision and His goodness and His faithfulness through all of our ups and downs.
Guys, God's called us to greatness. Whatever that looks like for you, whether it's in the 'ordinary', 'be good at your job and talk to your coworkers about God' kind of life, or the 'go to another country and touch lives there', don't just settle for good. Don't settle for comfortable. Don't settle for this side of Jordan when there's a promised land past that. And don't be afraid to go in and possess that promise, because God's already said that He's with you and He won't forsake you. He'll help you, He'll strengthen you, and when you mess up He's not going to throw you away. He's going to stay by your side, help you back up and you're gonna go and possess that promise.
Love you guys. :)
Anywho.
Isaiah 41:9-10 NLT, "I have called you back from the ends of the earth, saying, 'You are my servant.' For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."
The Lord says this through Isaiah, all in the context of talking about how great He (God) is.
Here are some of my thoughts: Sometimes we get so wrapped up in how great, or how big and powerful our enemies and our problems are that we forget the One who can turn it all around in an instant. Sometimes, we complain about how we feel so much that we need to be sent through a wilderness for a bit so that all of that complaining and junk can die off of us. If we tried to possess the promises in the state of mind that we're in, God wouldn't get the glory. In fact, we probably wouldn't even appreciate the fact that He gave us our promises. We'd find something else to complain about!
I mean, look at the Israelites. From what it looks like, it was a two-week journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. Two stinking weeks. And you know how long it took 'em to get there? Forty days. Bruh. 'Cause they was a mess. It's like God took 'em the scenic route because He knew they'd act stupid. It's like when a parent drives around the block fifty times waiting for their baby to fall asleep. But then after they got there, they were like, nah, we can't possess that, we're way too small, and so they had to wander around in the wilderness for another forty years.
See, other times, we get so wrapped up in how pitiful we are, we don't think we're worth possessing our promises. It's like, "Oh, I'm trash. I know God said this, but I could never do that. I'm not qualified, I've messed up too many times, when I mess this up He'll just abandon me and move on to someone else." That has to die too. Another wilderness, another season of getting to know God in a more personal way, of seeing His provision and His goodness and His faithfulness through all of our ups and downs.
Guys, God's called us to greatness. Whatever that looks like for you, whether it's in the 'ordinary', 'be good at your job and talk to your coworkers about God' kind of life, or the 'go to another country and touch lives there', don't just settle for good. Don't settle for comfortable. Don't settle for this side of Jordan when there's a promised land past that. And don't be afraid to go in and possess that promise, because God's already said that He's with you and He won't forsake you. He'll help you, He'll strengthen you, and when you mess up He's not going to throw you away. He's going to stay by your side, help you back up and you're gonna go and possess that promise.
Love you guys. :)
Wednesday, May 9, 2018
My Testimony
My testimony is pretty simple: parents got into church when I was two, been living in it ever since. There've been ups and downs, but through it all, God's been faithful.
I basically grew up in church as a minister's kid. My parents were always involved in ministry, and for the longest time, I thought being in church basically meant music, preaching, Sunday School teaching, and Filipino food, I mean, Bible Study with Filipino food.
As I got older, I started getting involved in ministry, doing music, teaching Bible studies, preaching. The older I got, the more I noticed that I am so far from perfect, and the more I got into ministry the more I realized that people were expecting me to be perfect. I was starving for someone to see past the violin-player, the hopping Chinese-preacher's daughter, the alto at church, the kid who'd grown up in church and never knew alcohol or drugs or partying and stuff. I wasn't, and still am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but the pressure I felt (some imagined but some legit too) was real. The struggle was real, guys.
It got more real when I realized that God wants me to do something great for His kingdom. First I got people expecting me to be perfect, I got myself expecting me to be perfect, and now I've got God Almighty expecting me to be able to do something great for His kingdom? I can barely string two coherent sentences together when I'm tired, how am I supposed to do something great for God's Kingdom?!
Anybody else feel me there?
I'll be real honest. Sometimes, I wanted to throw in the towel and say, "Nope, I'm done!" I felt overwhelmed, underappreciated, inadequate and unseen. Everything I wanted didn't matter, my voice didn't matter, nothing mattered. Looking back, all I really needed was a good prayer sesh and a mindset change, but in the moment dude. There were times I just wanted to give it all up because I'm too small to make a big difference. "God must've made a mistake when He chose me," I thought. The Moses syndrome was real, me begging God to choose somebody else.
But every single stinkin' time I asked Him to choose someone else and just kill me (I'm an overdramatic human, guys, chill), God answered back, "No. I'm not gonna choose somebody else, I chose you. It's not because you're such a great person or you've accomplished so many great things are because you're the most qualified person for the job. I chose you because I want you to do it. And when you do it, you're not doing it by yourself. It's not by your might or your own power or your own strength that you're going to accomplish this, it's by My Spirit." Every single stinkin' time I wanted to throw in the towel and give up, God said, "I'm not giving up on you. Even when you've given up on yourself, I'm not going to give up on you."
Guys. 1 John 4:8 talks about how we have to have love because God is love, but allow me to highlight that last part real quick. "God is love." Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it's impossible to please God, and James 2 talks about how faith without works is dead, and Galatians 5:6 says that faith worketh by love. It comes full circle. We gotta have love to really do anything.
This seems like a bit of a tangent but let me bring it back here.
1 Corinthians 13 is 'the love chapter'. Without love, everything we do is basically useless noise. Love is patient, love is kind, love is all these different things, love is who God is. After everything we've done to Him, Jesus still loves us. My sins drove the nails into His hands and feet. He's got every right to give up on me, to never create me or give me this life I'm living. But despite all my flaws, despite the times I wanna give up, He remains faithful and says to me, "I'm not gonna give up on you."
That's how I know God is faithful. That's how I know He loves me. That's how I know He loves you.
You're on this Earth for a reason, and no matter how many times you screw up and consider quitting, He still loves you and will chase after you because He wants you.
And that's my testimony. What's yours?
Love you guys. Summer's coming, hang in there, friends. God bless yous! :) 💖
I basically grew up in church as a minister's kid. My parents were always involved in ministry, and for the longest time, I thought being in church basically meant music, preaching, Sunday School teaching, and Filipino food, I mean, Bible Study with Filipino food.
As I got older, I started getting involved in ministry, doing music, teaching Bible studies, preaching. The older I got, the more I noticed that I am so far from perfect, and the more I got into ministry the more I realized that people were expecting me to be perfect. I was starving for someone to see past the violin-player, the hopping Chinese-preacher's daughter, the alto at church, the kid who'd grown up in church and never knew alcohol or drugs or partying and stuff. I wasn't, and still am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, but the pressure I felt (some imagined but some legit too) was real. The struggle was real, guys.
It got more real when I realized that God wants me to do something great for His kingdom. First I got people expecting me to be perfect, I got myself expecting me to be perfect, and now I've got God Almighty expecting me to be able to do something great for His kingdom? I can barely string two coherent sentences together when I'm tired, how am I supposed to do something great for God's Kingdom?!
Anybody else feel me there?
I'll be real honest. Sometimes, I wanted to throw in the towel and say, "Nope, I'm done!" I felt overwhelmed, underappreciated, inadequate and unseen. Everything I wanted didn't matter, my voice didn't matter, nothing mattered. Looking back, all I really needed was a good prayer sesh and a mindset change, but in the moment dude. There were times I just wanted to give it all up because I'm too small to make a big difference. "God must've made a mistake when He chose me," I thought. The Moses syndrome was real, me begging God to choose somebody else.
But every single stinkin' time I asked Him to choose someone else and just kill me (I'm an overdramatic human, guys, chill), God answered back, "No. I'm not gonna choose somebody else, I chose you. It's not because you're such a great person or you've accomplished so many great things are because you're the most qualified person for the job. I chose you because I want you to do it. And when you do it, you're not doing it by yourself. It's not by your might or your own power or your own strength that you're going to accomplish this, it's by My Spirit." Every single stinkin' time I wanted to throw in the towel and give up, God said, "I'm not giving up on you. Even when you've given up on yourself, I'm not going to give up on you."
Guys. 1 John 4:8 talks about how we have to have love because God is love, but allow me to highlight that last part real quick. "God is love." Hebrews 11:6 says that without faith it's impossible to please God, and James 2 talks about how faith without works is dead, and Galatians 5:6 says that faith worketh by love. It comes full circle. We gotta have love to really do anything.
This seems like a bit of a tangent but let me bring it back here.
1 Corinthians 13 is 'the love chapter'. Without love, everything we do is basically useless noise. Love is patient, love is kind, love is all these different things, love is who God is. After everything we've done to Him, Jesus still loves us. My sins drove the nails into His hands and feet. He's got every right to give up on me, to never create me or give me this life I'm living. But despite all my flaws, despite the times I wanna give up, He remains faithful and says to me, "I'm not gonna give up on you."
That's how I know God is faithful. That's how I know He loves me. That's how I know He loves you.
You're on this Earth for a reason, and no matter how many times you screw up and consider quitting, He still loves you and will chase after you because He wants you.
And that's my testimony. What's yours?
Love you guys. Summer's coming, hang in there, friends. God bless yous! :) 💖
Thursday, February 15, 2018
Valentine's Day, a.k.a. SAD, and All the Cliche Stuff
And doing them by yourself is lame. I mean yeah, sometimes it's good to just treat yo-self, to be alone and show the world you're happy as a single pringle, but let's be honest, half of you guys who do that are just tryna covertly say, "HEY I'M SINGLE SOMEONE CHANGE THAT" without looking like a needy fool. 😅
Why am I saying that? Uh, 'cause I resisted the urge to post cliche "Single and happy about it", "Pros to being single on V-Day: Saving money I'd otherwise have to spend on a Valentine present" etc. pics to IG and SC all day. All day. Because if I'm honest, it'd be nice to have found 'the one' by now and to be doing life with this human.
But on the other hand, boy am I glad I'm not dating anybody or preparing for marriage to anybody in particular. Like, dude, I still gotta learn how to schedule my own doctor's appointment and talk to my own health insurance company, I can't handle that kind of responsibility right now. 😂
What's the point of this post? I had a point. I know I did. Oh yeah, Valentine's Day!
So if you're dating or married, congrats, I'm happy you got somebody for ya. I pray they treat you well and that you treat them well. Be excellent to each other, aight? Or else I'll hunt you down, slap you in your stupid face, beat you with a hardcover, annotated KJV Bible and throw glitter-filled water balloons at you that have verses written on them about how we're supposed to treat each other.
All in love, of course. I'd do this to my brother. Because I love him. 'Cause everything you do should flow out of love. Yup. I mean, it's either glitter or I kill you and repent later, which would you prefer? 😃
Ahem, anyways, aaaand if you're single like me... Use this time to focus on figuring out who you are. Where do you want to go? What do you want to do with your life? How do you do that thing you wanna do? How do you get to that place? What habits do you need to form that'll help you be a better, healthier person that accomplishes those awesome goals and dreams you have? How do you form those habits?
Cliche, I know. But Valentine's Day is all about the cliche. As is Single Awareness Day. Whether you're in a committed relationship or not, be a decent human. Love people the way Jesus does. Look at yourself the way Jesus looks at you. Go after Jesus with everything that's in you, and change the world.
Love you guys. Happy Valentine's Day, Happy S.A.D., (both a week late), and keep being awesome. 😜
Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash
Monday, February 12, 2018
Rejection or Divine Redirection?
Let's talk about the r-word.
Rejection.
Ouch. It hurts just thinking about it.
Everyone feels rejected at some point. Life isn't always about acceptance, you know. People aren't gonna like you 100% of the time. Maybe it's 'cause you accidentally cut them off in traffic. Maybe you pointed out a flaw in their logic. Maybe you're doing the best you can and for whatever reason, they just really don't like you. Or, it could be, you're doing your absolute best to reach out, be the light, be Jesus to everyone around you, and they reject you for it. Whatever the reason, you end up feeling rejected, dejected, and that ain't a fun place to be.
And you know who one of the most rejected-feeling groups of people is in this world?
Youth.
They got ALL this junk going on with their bodies, school, peer group, etc. They're trying to navigate through the ins and outs of becoming young adults, becoming more responsible, while also having the expectations that this world thrusts upon young people, to be irresponsible, make mistakes and live it up as much as possible. It's a nightmare. We're supposed to have fun in high school, make friends, be crazy teenagers, and then suddenly seventeen and eighteen hits and, whoa, we're supposed to have jobs, get college degrees and know exactly what we wanna do with our lives? You're crazy. This world is jacked up. Like, hon, it don't work like that, there are some habits that gotta be formed before we can effectively do that, yo.
Oh, and did I mention the whole being a Christian thing? When you're a Christian, you automatically stand out from the crowd. You will get rejected for what you believe, whether you're actively telling people about what you believe or not. It's just the world we live in.
But don't let rejection stop you from being who God's called you to be. If God has called you to preach, don't let discouragement from your peers to "shut up about this Jesus thing" stop you from continuing to talk about Jesus. If God's called you to reach your friends and teach Bible studies, don't let anyone's rejection of what the Bible says stop you from continuing to look for someone who will accept it.
It all comes down to this, guys: Sometimes, it's not rejection, sometimes it's a divine redirection. Sometimes, that rejection saves you from wasting time on people who really don't want it, and forces you to go find the ones who really want the truth. Sometimes, that rejection you get sets you up to do what God meant for you to do in the first place.
You have to perceive it differently. Jesus said that when you get rejected, shake the dust off your feet and keep going. He already told us we'd get rejected just for being His followers. But there are people who desperately need and want this beautiful Gospel we've been given. There are people that only you can reach, and who are you to deny them of their chance at Heaven, just because you were rejected?
I understand. Rejection hurts. It's hard getting your hopes up only to have them crushed, to really go after something you want only to see all your plans fall apart. It's hard to try to reach out to someone who seems like they need, no, they want help, but they reject your help. And then what about next time? What if you try to reach out to someone else and they slap your hand away like that other person did before? Yeeoosh. The prospect of rejection can freeze even the strongest warrior. You're not alone in feeling it or fearing it.
But don't let that fear, or that feeling of having been rejected, stop you from being who God called you to be, trying to go after God's plans for your life, from reaching out to people around you. Rejection is that testing ground to see how much you believe what God told you. It's the fire that'll burn the things that won't stand and leave the things that will. Rejection can show you what you need to work on if you let it. It can spin you around, and then push you towards someone else. Yeah, man, it's painful. But it's not the end. There's life after rejection, there's something we're supposed to do afterward. We can sit in a corner and sulk about how someone rejected us, or we can rise above it and try to find someone who wants to hear about Jesus.
For me, rejection makes me reevaluate everything. That can be good and bad, you already know what the bad is so I won't go into that. The good: what do I do now? What's the next step, where do I go from here? Like they say, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go next is up. What's that for you? Or better yet: who is that for you? Who else do you think just might want a Bible study, or might want to come to church, or might want to hang out with you and the youth group?
You know something? Rejection, much as it hurt, might be our best teacher. 'Cause sometimes, it'll redirect us from people who don't want it to people who do. Sometimes, it's not rejection. Sometimes, it's a divine redirection.
Rejection.
Ouch. It hurts just thinking about it.
Everyone feels rejected at some point. Life isn't always about acceptance, you know. People aren't gonna like you 100% of the time. Maybe it's 'cause you accidentally cut them off in traffic. Maybe you pointed out a flaw in their logic. Maybe you're doing the best you can and for whatever reason, they just really don't like you. Or, it could be, you're doing your absolute best to reach out, be the light, be Jesus to everyone around you, and they reject you for it. Whatever the reason, you end up feeling rejected, dejected, and that ain't a fun place to be.
And you know who one of the most rejected-feeling groups of people is in this world?
Youth.
They got ALL this junk going on with their bodies, school, peer group, etc. They're trying to navigate through the ins and outs of becoming young adults, becoming more responsible, while also having the expectations that this world thrusts upon young people, to be irresponsible, make mistakes and live it up as much as possible. It's a nightmare. We're supposed to have fun in high school, make friends, be crazy teenagers, and then suddenly seventeen and eighteen hits and, whoa, we're supposed to have jobs, get college degrees and know exactly what we wanna do with our lives? You're crazy. This world is jacked up. Like, hon, it don't work like that, there are some habits that gotta be formed before we can effectively do that, yo.
Oh, and did I mention the whole being a Christian thing? When you're a Christian, you automatically stand out from the crowd. You will get rejected for what you believe, whether you're actively telling people about what you believe or not. It's just the world we live in.
But don't let rejection stop you from being who God's called you to be. If God has called you to preach, don't let discouragement from your peers to "shut up about this Jesus thing" stop you from continuing to talk about Jesus. If God's called you to reach your friends and teach Bible studies, don't let anyone's rejection of what the Bible says stop you from continuing to look for someone who will accept it.
It all comes down to this, guys: Sometimes, it's not rejection, sometimes it's a divine redirection. Sometimes, that rejection saves you from wasting time on people who really don't want it, and forces you to go find the ones who really want the truth. Sometimes, that rejection you get sets you up to do what God meant for you to do in the first place.
You have to perceive it differently. Jesus said that when you get rejected, shake the dust off your feet and keep going. He already told us we'd get rejected just for being His followers. But there are people who desperately need and want this beautiful Gospel we've been given. There are people that only you can reach, and who are you to deny them of their chance at Heaven, just because you were rejected?
I understand. Rejection hurts. It's hard getting your hopes up only to have them crushed, to really go after something you want only to see all your plans fall apart. It's hard to try to reach out to someone who seems like they need, no, they want help, but they reject your help. And then what about next time? What if you try to reach out to someone else and they slap your hand away like that other person did before? Yeeoosh. The prospect of rejection can freeze even the strongest warrior. You're not alone in feeling it or fearing it.
But don't let that fear, or that feeling of having been rejected, stop you from being who God called you to be, trying to go after God's plans for your life, from reaching out to people around you. Rejection is that testing ground to see how much you believe what God told you. It's the fire that'll burn the things that won't stand and leave the things that will. Rejection can show you what you need to work on if you let it. It can spin you around, and then push you towards someone else. Yeah, man, it's painful. But it's not the end. There's life after rejection, there's something we're supposed to do afterward. We can sit in a corner and sulk about how someone rejected us, or we can rise above it and try to find someone who wants to hear about Jesus.
For me, rejection makes me reevaluate everything. That can be good and bad, you already know what the bad is so I won't go into that. The good: what do I do now? What's the next step, where do I go from here? Like they say, when you hit rock bottom, the only way to go next is up. What's that for you? Or better yet: who is that for you? Who else do you think just might want a Bible study, or might want to come to church, or might want to hang out with you and the youth group?
You know something? Rejection, much as it hurt, might be our best teacher. 'Cause sometimes, it'll redirect us from people who don't want it to people who do. Sometimes, it's not rejection. Sometimes, it's a divine redirection.
Friday, February 2, 2018
An Open Future
I feel like the name of this blog is perfect for me because sometimes I just go for weeks and months on end without posting and then I come back like HEY SO GUYS like no time's passed at all. 😅😂
But anyways. Guys. I got my diploma in the mail, like, a month ago come Saturday. Let's just say it softened the blow of not being accepted to grad school. Can't go to grad school this semester but hey, at least I can now prove that I finished my BA last semester, right?
And I'll have you know, I only cried like five times in the 7 or so hours after I found out about not being accepted. 😅😭😳😶
This made me reevaluate basically my whole life. "What now?" I asked myself. I have a mini fridge in the living room, a microwave, and a cool Ninja blender (that I have been using the entire time during this year's 21 Day Challenge a.k.a. Daniel Fast 2.0, btw). I have some money saved up in the bank, my own debit card, a cool smartphone, and a bunch of big dreams. What am I supposed to do now?
See, I had the whole next 4-5 months planned out. Go to grad school. Take classes. Hang with my best friends. Stay up way too late doing assignments and studying, drinking coffee and laughing with awesome people. Cry my eyes out during chapel services, pray like I never had before with people in my age group. All that's basically out the window for now. I have at least 6 months to do... what?
So, I basically sat down with my questions and tried to figure out what I want to do with my life. What do I want to do career-wise? There are a few things, but one thing I think would be pretty stinkin' fantastic is this: Write. I want to write. I wanna write fiction. I want to "live by my pen" as Anne Hathaway said in her role as Jane Austen in the movie "Becoming Jane." How do I do that? Well, first off, I gotta write. I gotta edit the mess out of my work. I gotta make it publishable. Next step, publish the work. Market the work. Get paid for the work. Aaaaaand repeat until I can either live off of writing or live off it and some kind of other part-time or full-time job.
Sidenote: I love my job, absolutely love it. I'm learning all these crazy things about the world of printing and web design and all this stuff, I feel like a starry-eyed kid at Disney World half the time (the other half I'm working trying to make sure I'm doing my job right and as well as possible). I just have like, fifty different ideas of how my life could go and I'm tryna get 'em all out before they make my head explode. 😜
What else do I wanna do? I wanna travel. I wanna go on missions trips, see what it's like to be a missionary, help out missionaries, do missionary work.
So what have I done about this stuff? Well for one, I've looked into some mission trips. There are too many deadlines at the beginning of the year so unless someone walks up to me and says, "Hey, I want you to come with me to this foreign country this year," then I probably won't go overseas just quite yet. I've also looked into going overseas to teach ESL. Got some pointers from my uncle, who went overseas and taught English in Korea, and there are some pretty cool opportunities that I'm looking into a little bit more. I'd need a TESL or TEFL certification and a few other prereq's that would take a little time to get done, but lucky for me, that fits my schedule for the next two years haha. Oh, and as for writing, I've made it a goal to write and publish 5 books this year on various platforms, i.e. Wattpad, Amazon, possibly Inkitt, etc.
I might still go to grad school. Or I might just go to the undergrad area to get a certificate in Apostolic Studies so I can articulate my faith in a knowledgeable way and get some experience living on my own for a bit. Or I might just skip all that, work hard, get my TESL/TEFL and move to Eastern Asia for the rest of my life! (JK, I'd miss my American people too much... I'll just pack 'em all in suitcases and take 'em with me, muahaha)
The point of this post? It's an open future for me. I've got a direction I want to go in. And I know there's a direction God wants me to go in. The trick is making sure the two are one in the same. Do I think writing can change the world? Yes, yes I do. Do I think teaching can change the world? Tried and proven, both in the secular and the church worlds, teaching can completely change the world, because it changes young people who will go on to change the world. Do I think this is something I should pursue? Short answer: Yes. Time (and a whole lotta prayer) will tell if this is the direction God wants me to go in.
'Til next time, folks!
--Sonya 😁 💖
P.S. I'mma try to get better at writing this blog, or at least posting something on this blog. Bear with me, guys. 😜
But anyways. Guys. I got my diploma in the mail, like, a month ago come Saturday. Let's just say it softened the blow of not being accepted to grad school. Can't go to grad school this semester but hey, at least I can now prove that I finished my BA last semester, right?
And I'll have you know, I only cried like five times in the 7 or so hours after I found out about not being accepted. 😅😭😳😶
This made me reevaluate basically my whole life. "What now?" I asked myself. I have a mini fridge in the living room, a microwave, and a cool Ninja blender (that I have been using the entire time during this year's 21 Day Challenge a.k.a. Daniel Fast 2.0, btw). I have some money saved up in the bank, my own debit card, a cool smartphone, and a bunch of big dreams. What am I supposed to do now?
See, I had the whole next 4-5 months planned out. Go to grad school. Take classes. Hang with my best friends. Stay up way too late doing assignments and studying, drinking coffee and laughing with awesome people. Cry my eyes out during chapel services, pray like I never had before with people in my age group. All that's basically out the window for now. I have at least 6 months to do... what?
So, I basically sat down with my questions and tried to figure out what I want to do with my life. What do I want to do career-wise? There are a few things, but one thing I think would be pretty stinkin' fantastic is this: Write. I want to write. I wanna write fiction. I want to "live by my pen" as Anne Hathaway said in her role as Jane Austen in the movie "Becoming Jane." How do I do that? Well, first off, I gotta write. I gotta edit the mess out of my work. I gotta make it publishable. Next step, publish the work. Market the work. Get paid for the work. Aaaaaand repeat until I can either live off of writing or live off it and some kind of other part-time or full-time job.
Sidenote: I love my job, absolutely love it. I'm learning all these crazy things about the world of printing and web design and all this stuff, I feel like a starry-eyed kid at Disney World half the time (the other half I'm working trying to make sure I'm doing my job right and as well as possible). I just have like, fifty different ideas of how my life could go and I'm tryna get 'em all out before they make my head explode. 😜
What else do I wanna do? I wanna travel. I wanna go on missions trips, see what it's like to be a missionary, help out missionaries, do missionary work.
So what have I done about this stuff? Well for one, I've looked into some mission trips. There are too many deadlines at the beginning of the year so unless someone walks up to me and says, "Hey, I want you to come with me to this foreign country this year," then I probably won't go overseas just quite yet. I've also looked into going overseas to teach ESL. Got some pointers from my uncle, who went overseas and taught English in Korea, and there are some pretty cool opportunities that I'm looking into a little bit more. I'd need a TESL or TEFL certification and a few other prereq's that would take a little time to get done, but lucky for me, that fits my schedule for the next two years haha. Oh, and as for writing, I've made it a goal to write and publish 5 books this year on various platforms, i.e. Wattpad, Amazon, possibly Inkitt, etc.
I might still go to grad school. Or I might just go to the undergrad area to get a certificate in Apostolic Studies so I can articulate my faith in a knowledgeable way and get some experience living on my own for a bit. Or I might just skip all that, work hard, get my TESL/TEFL and move to Eastern Asia for the rest of my life! (JK, I'd miss my American people too much... I'll just pack 'em all in suitcases and take 'em with me, muahaha)
The point of this post? It's an open future for me. I've got a direction I want to go in. And I know there's a direction God wants me to go in. The trick is making sure the two are one in the same. Do I think writing can change the world? Yes, yes I do. Do I think teaching can change the world? Tried and proven, both in the secular and the church worlds, teaching can completely change the world, because it changes young people who will go on to change the world. Do I think this is something I should pursue? Short answer: Yes. Time (and a whole lotta prayer) will tell if this is the direction God wants me to go in.
'Til next time, folks!
--Sonya 😁 💖
P.S. I'mma try to get better at writing this blog, or at least posting something on this blog. Bear with me, guys. 😜
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