Reflecting on 2018

Well, guys. It has been a YEAR. And by YEAR, I mean, whew. Like, I'm glad it happened and I'm glad it's over at the same time.

The tail end of 2017 and the beginning of 2018 set off a chain of events that impacted me in a way that no blog post or autobiography could ever make you completely understand. I watched my plans, dreams, and aspirations fall apart before my eyes and there was nothing I could do about it. Like any melodramatic kid, I broke down and cried about it for a good long bit, and then turned around and tried to figure it out. Did I figure stuff out? You bet I did. Did I learn from my mistakes? Mostly. Did I deal with my internal mess perfectly? HAH. No, I absolutely did not.

I put so much pressure on myself, it's ridiculous. But man, has God been faithful. Through all my anxiety about the future, beating myself up about the past and present, my freak outs and breakdowns and all that *lovely* jazz, God's just been teaching me about myself and who He is through it all. Because even when I was an angry, bitter mess, He stuck by my side and gave me opportunities to do things that, low-key, had my plans worked out how I wanted, I never would've gotten the chance to do this stuff.

I joined an orchestra. We went to China. I went to Georgia and ministered at a church for their youth weekend. I got to hang out with some incredible people. I made a tentative 'five year plan' that has since turned into a one-year-plan because bruh, God be like, "Yeah, I want this to happen now so like, you gonna do this now," and I'm like, "Haha wut" and He's just like, "Mhmm," and I be like, "😶 okee" and that's that.

There were some way lows, but there were some pretty amazing highs to this year too. I'm thankful for the people who stuck by my side despite the fact that I definitely pushed some of them to the breaking point. I'm thankful that God decided that my plans weren't as good as His plans and changed things up. I'm really thankful for the growth I've experienced and the direction I now have to go in. I'm thankful for the support I've gotten and the comfort zones I've been pushed out of, the things I've gotten to experience.

Dude, I could go on but like, I feel like I'll start talking in circles SOOOO.

I'm thankful. I also need to go practice my instruments. I will try to blog more regularly but no promises. 😜

Love all you guys. God bless you, and I hope you have a very wonderful Happy New Year!!!!